They Shouldn't Have Hired Me
by KlonoaDreams
Summary: A second chance at life would sound great to most people. To Byleth Noa Eisner, it just sounds like a lot of stress. SI!Byleth.
1. I Shouldn't Be Here

A/N I warned everyone who read chapter three of _Bitter Step_ to expect something Three Houses related and here it fucking is.

I'd like to thank my girlfriend, **Lyrecho**, who I dedicate this fic to (THANK YOU FOR THE SUMMARY), and also my friends, **Nagi** and **Navi**, for being there as well. They're the reason this fic exists so fast (keyword: fast), even if I was the only one who started on Golden Deer (and am _still_ on Golden Deer, so no spoilers from here on out until I mention them). Special mention to **jadecore**, who will start on Golden Deer when they get their Switch. Best of luck.

**Disclaimer for whole story: I don't own **_**Fire Emblem: Three Houses**_** or anything related to the **_**Fire Emblem**_** series.**

All I own is whatever comes out of this fic, so have fun reading!

* * *

…

…

I just wanted to wake up and go to work.

Apparently, I can't even do that…and it's not even because of my typical depression moods. I literally cannot force myself to physically _move_.

_What the absolute fuck?_

It's hot, I'm sweaty, and the AC isn't fucking working—sweet mother of god, why is this my life right now?!

_Is my fan off?_

"Mmmmyyyrrrgh…" Even if I wanted to turn it on, I still can't move. Ugh…my head feels so heavy—did my allergies get even worse?

_Oh, __**hell**__ no…_

If this is what it's like to be awake, then I'm just gonna go back to sleep, where I can escape this travesty of a body and whatever haze is plaguing my eyes…

_Who even needs a body when you can just astral project into a different realm?_

"Heh…" I laughed to myself, too damn loopy to even care about how ridiculous that was. Even if it was just for a moment, it made me feel a bit better…

Had I any semblance of clarity, I might have noticed that I wasn't exactly alone in this room…that someone had just place a damp, folded piece of cloth on my forehead…that I was anywhere else but home.

Instead, I allowed the darkness to envelop me, my consciousness soon fading away as I fell into a deep sleep…

…

…

I'm not sure how long I stayed asleep, but I think it was long enough for my head to clear up. It no longer felt as heavy as it was before and when I opened my eyes, the haze was completely gone. Rubbing my eyes, I yawned, briefly wondering what the hell happened to me before the tiniest of yawns caught my ears.

_Hello?!_

"I wonder how you got in here…" A tiny, fair-skinned girl stared down at me from a throne made out of stone.

_When did…?_

I'm not sure when she got here…or rather, when _I_ got here, seeing as she seems to be the one annoyed with my sudden presence. From the looks of things, she appeared to have been sleeping until recently—which is probably why she looks so annoyed.

"It is most rude to interrupt a moment of repose." She rests her chin atop the palm of her hand, her green eyes sleepily staring ahead. "Very rude indeed."

"Sorry…" I'll leave, if that's what she wants…as soon as I figure out how to get out of here. Huh…

_This might be a problem…_

"No matter—now come to me," she says, gesturing at me with her finger to come closer. "I wish to have a look at you."

"Uhh…" Okay…I guess I'll listen? "Give me a sec—huurgh…"

Sleeping on the floor has never once been comfortable and even now, that is something that still hasn't changed. I could hear some of my bones cracking into place, making me wince a couple of times.

_God damn, how long was I out?!_

"Not so comfortable, is it?" The girl has such a mischievous smile on her face.

"I'd ask you the same question." I know that throne looks nice and all, but it's _still_ made out of stone. Like, I'm pretty sure the only reason she isn't so uncomfortable is because her long hair and clothes are what's keeping her skin from making direct contact with the throne's hard surface.

"Hmmm!" She stretches cutely, like a cat that had just woken up from its nap. "You get used to it. Now let's take a closer look at you…"

I walked closer to the girl, trying my best not to wobble so much. I failed spectacularly when I tripped over my own damn feet and landed right on the stone-hard floor.

_Thud!_

"Ow…" My only solace is that I didn't land right on my face…but that doesn't make it hurt any less.

"My, aren't we clumsy?" The girl sounded so amused. "Lift up your head."

"Okay, Missy…" No need to be so sassy…who even are you?

_Seriously, who __**is**__ this sassy, lost child?!_

"Hmm…" The girl fixated her gaze on me, taking advantage of our close proximities. "I have not seen the likes of you before."

"Likewise." I've only just noticed, but I don't think this little girl is human…fully, at least. Her hair is such a vibrant green color, and her ears are quite elf-like in appearance. I'd ask her if it was cosplay, but I think I just saw her ears fucking _move_.

_Oh shit—they're real._

"Hhhh…" Maybe I'm still dreaming… It _feels_ like I'm still dreaming, since nothing is making much sense. If that's the case, then it's my city now!

_Hell yeah, let's get lucid up in this bitch!_

"So…who are you, anyway?" the girl asked me.

"_Ooooohhh_, I am a ghooo~sstttt!" Not my best attempts to turn this dream around in my favor, but hey, if I can move around without having to walk, then we're fucking Gucci!

"Do not deceive." Well, _that_ just pissed her off. "You would do well to keep your wit in line."

"Fine—I'm a boring human." Worst. Dream. _Ever_. This just _barely_ ranks above the nightmarish apocalyptic nightmares I'd have from time to time and is slowly treading into strange and unusual. Just get to the point where I get slapped or some shit…

_Just don't make it __**too**__ weird._

I'm not up for another intense game of hide-and-seek with a Disney Villain…as fun as that actually sounds—you know what, fucking go for it, dream.

_I don't mind._

"I see." The girl nodded her head. "Then you must have a name of sorts. Go on—tell me."

"Only if you tell me yours first!" _**Listen**_, I have no reason in particular to trust this strange, little girl, so _excuse_ _me_ if I'm a bit wary of her for the time being.

The girl shook her head. "Don't remember it."

"Okay." I wasn't expecting that. "So…"

"So…" She trailed off, her eyes looking aside.

…

…

This is fucking awkward.

"Anyways, I'm Noa…" Might as well give her _something_ instead of nothing, at this point.

"Like the fruit?" The girl tilted her head to the side.

"Fruit?" I don't…remember there being a fruit with that name… Then again, with how weird this dream is, I wouldn't be surprised if there _is_ a fruit like that. "Sure, why not?"

"I shall not ever grow accustomed to the sound of human names." Hey, being named after a fruit isn't _that_ bad…like, it could be worse. And I _know_ what's worse. "That aside, beneath which moon and on what day were you born to this world?"

"Uhhhh…" That is a _really_ weird way to ask when my birthday is. "It's the second of May."

"May…?" The girl tilted her head questioningly. "I do not recall a moon of that name."

"It's the fifth month." Of course, that's assuming that there are still like twelve months in a year.

_Anything is fucking possible at this point…_

"Oh, so the second day of the Harpstring Moon?" The girl nodded her head. "Why did you not say so?"

"Ahahaha, why didn't I?" Well, _gee_, maybe if I had a calendar, then I would've said so…

The girl huffed a laugh, likely finding my antics somewhat amusing. "Regardless of what you have said, that does not change the fact that we share our day of birth."

"Seriously?" Well, _heeeyyy_, let's be birthday buddies, then! "So, birthday buddy…what's up?"

"What's…up?" The girl furrowed her brow, not knowing what to make of my question. She yawned loudly, her eyes starting to droop. "My, you are strange…"

"I guess I am…you good?" You look like you're about ready to fall asleep, which…isn't so bad of an idea, now that I actually think about it.

_Geez, I'm tired…_

And it _really_ doesn't help that this girl's yawns are contagious.

"I think it may be time for yet another nap…" She closes her eyes after that, yawning one last time before letting herself nod off. "It is almost…time to…begin…"

I wanted to ask her what she meant by that, but all that came out of my mouth was another yawn. It was hard keeping my eyes open at this point, so I just sat down on the floor. The floor was as uncomfortable as ever, being made out of stone and whatnot. And yet…that still didn't stop me from laying on my side and falling asleep.

"A nap sounds…good…" I don't remember much after that.

…

…

When I finally woke up, it was to the sound of someone's deep, gruff voice. "Hey. Time to wake up."

"Mmuuurgh…" I had a hard time opening my eyes, the urge to go back to sleep still strong in my mind. I rolled onto my stomach, briefly wondering _why_ I was sleeping on my back before burying my face into a pillow. Within seconds, the rank stench of sweat assaulted my nose. "Aaugh!"

I sat up immediately, my hands quickly covering my nose as I tried to distance myself from that smell. That's when I noticed how…_off_, my surroundings were. First of all, this isn't my room.

_Or my house, for that matter._

My family wasn't rich my any means (can you imagine how much easier it'd be for all of us if we were? Like, _god_, I wish that was me…), but we at least had a nice-looking house with rooms that weren't so…_small_. Like, my room was big enough for a queen-sized bed to fit in, with enough space left over for the other furniture in my room. This room, however, barely has any walking space, despite only having the bare minimum of things, such as a bed, a small wardrobe, and a desk that has certainly seen better days…

"Is everything fine?" _Second of all_—who the fuck is this guy?!

I opened my mouth, but all that came out was an incoherent string of words as I tried to make sense of this situation. Kinda hard, when you're staring at a massive _giant_.

"Were you having that dream again?" he asks, as though he knows me.

_Am I supposed to know you?_

I don't recall any dudes with brown eyes sandy-blond hair. The closest person I can recall with somewhat similar features is one of my nephews, who is still a _child_ and not some middle-aged man with muscles and a scar on his face.

"Which one was it this time?" the man kept talking, as though nothing was wrong. "Of the war, or of that girl?"

"Girl?" You mean that girl with the green hair? Because I don't recall any wars…

_I think?_

"You've described her to me before," the man explained. "I don't think I've ever met anyone like that."

You and me both, then…_wait_… "Before?"

The man frowned, his hand reaching out to touch my forehead. "Are you still feverish?"

"D-Don't touch me!" Without even thinking, I slapped his hand away. "Who…Who are you?"

* * *

…

…

"Who are you?"

Those words are like slap to his face.

"Who am I?" Jeralt can not even begin to describe the fear that washes over him. It's one thing seeing his usually emotionless daughter being so damn emotive all of a sudden. And it's certainly another thing to find out that she doesn't know who he is.

Put together with the knowledge that she's been bedridden these past few days with a high fever, it's an absolute fucking _nightmare_ as Jeralt grasps for straws on what could have possibly happened.

Just what went wrong?

Jeralt doesn't know, which is only stressing him out even more as he tries to reassure his daughter that everything is perfectly okay…even though it isn't.

"I'm your father, Noa," he tells her as calmly as he possibly can.

"How do you know my name?!" That…backfired…somehow.

"_This is unbelievable."_ If it wasn't for the fact that he was running on only a few hours of sleep, Jeralt could have easily shrugged it off. Instead, his mind is flooded with memories of his pregnant wife, Sitri, consuming an entire bowl of berries as the two of them go through a list of names for their unborn child. "How do I know your—I gave you that name, Noa."

Of course, to be more specific, Sitri gave her that name—he offered up Byleth, amongst many others, but the two just couldn't come to an agreement. In the end, Jeralt decided that Byleth Noa Eisner was good enough for what it stood for—a happy memory of him and Sitri.

"I don't know what that fever did to you, but just know that you're safe with me." Not that Jeralt doesn't trust his own daughter to defend herself, but in her current state—he's more than willing to take over for her while she figures everything out. "Even if you can't remember, nothing will change the fact that you are my daughter."

He hopes that his words reach her in some way—_anything_ to at least get her to trust him again…

"I…see…" There is some hesitance in Noa's words, but at the very least, she no longer appears so apprehensive. If anything, she seems a lot more apologetic. "I'm sorry…"

"It's not your fault." If there's anyone Jeralt has to blame for what could have happened to his daughter, it's Rhea. She did something to Noa on the day she was born—something that is still affecting her to this very day. Maybe the fever was just a part of it…

It's hard to tell when he isn't even sure what to make of the situation. All he knows is that it's his job to help his daughter cope with the sudden loss of her memories. If they're lucky, they'll eventually come back.

If not…

If not…

"_Then I guess we'll have to make new ones."_ Being optimistic is what Sitri often did, so Jeralt tries to do the same, if only to ease some of his nerves.

…

…

…

* * *

A/N So like this fic has been in the works since I first found out we were a teacher in _Three Houses_ and started making joke comments about it. And so because of that, this fic can be considered semi-crack—emphasis on the **semi**, by the way, because shit will _still_ get serious.

Other than that, this is probably the first of the three _Fire Emblem_ fics I wanted to write (I have plans for an SI!Robin and SI!Corrin, so keep an eye out for them). Like, damn, I have fucking google docs for these fics. But this one right here, for _Three Houses_?

Nothing.

I'm just going in as I see it, without much planning because I have no self-control. Also, I'm Team Fear the Deer, so this fic at the very base is Golden Deer. That being said, don't expect it to go _exactly_ like the Golden Deer route. It's my city now, and I have plans…so do keep that in mind.

Of course, this fic will likely diverge whatever canon that the new route we're getting in April will give us, but again, MY CITY NOW! I make my OWN routes!

And because I'm hella gay, don't assume anyone in this fic is straight unless I say so, and _rarely_, do I **ever** say so. That's how I roll, so if you're not about that, then…you can just drop this fic.

For those who stick around, I just hope you guys can enjoy the ride! Let me know what you think in a review, **because I crave that validation**.

Until next time, everyone! KD out! XD


	2. Who Gave Me A Knife?

Life hasn't been any easier since I woke up from that strange dream. Like, I'm far from home, in a time period that doesn't seem modern in any way. I'm not alone at least, though it's still awkward calling this giant of a man, "Dad."

I mean, he's not that bad of a guy. He's just…not who I'm used to seeing when I think of my dad. Of course, when I look at my own reflection, I don't expect to see teal-colored hair and blue eyes, but I guess we can't have everything…

_Seriously, what the __**fuck**__ happened to me?_

Imagine the shock I got when I saw my reflection in the basin of water that I was given to wash off my face. I made such a mess from dropping that basin…

_How embarrassing…_

All I could do, was just stand there and apologize to Jeralt as he cleaned up the mess—that's my dad's name by the way. Strange name, but at least it's better than Byleth—what kind of name is that?

_Dunno, but it's growing on me…_

Speaking of names, my new name is Byleth Noa Eisner—or Noa, as everyone seems to call me. And by everyone, I mean _everyone_.

People come and go from this house often—most of them friends of Jeralt, from the looks of it. Each time they go talk to him, they always make sure to greet me, some of them reaching out to ruffle my hair as they ask how I'm doing.

_Dad sure has a lot of friends…_

I don't think I've seen the same person or group of people walk up to him in these past few days…

"So, Dad…" _God_, it's weird to call him that… "Can I call you Papa?"

"That's what you've been calling me all these years." Jeralt is still getting used to the fact that I don't remember him… I feel bad for him, but I can't even _try_ to pretend that I do know him—that'd just be even worse.

"Anyways, Papa…what do you do?" I just _had_ to ask, after I came across him sharpening a dagger—like, it's not even a regular knife. This man has a dagger and I'm convinced he knows how to use it.

_Seriously, where did he get that?_

"To answer your question…I am a mercenary." Jeralt took a moment to examine the dagger he had finished sharpening. "I go wherever I'm needed, and wherever there's money to earn."

"Okay…" That explains the dagger… "Have you killed someone?"

"I have—many people, actually." Why are you giving me this dagger? "Though, I can say the same about you, though I'd doubt you'd remember so soon."

That's…comforting… So with this dagger, I…

_Oof, that's a lot to take in…_

I'll just not think about it—I'll cross that bridge when I get there. "Why are you giving me this dagger when I can't remember anything?"

"Because it's yours, Noa," Jeralt explained. "Try not to cut yourself."

"Y-Yeah, I'll try, but—are you sure I should have this back?" Like, I don't mind keeping it, but I don't think this is a good idea…

"You're holding it correctly without my help." Jeralt handed me the dagger's sheath, motioning me to put the dagger away. "You might not remember how to use it, but your body does and I'm certain that a decade's worth of training is not anything that can be forgotten so easily."

"Ah…" So my muscle memory is doing all the work…that's cool. I guess I _can_ be trusted with a dagger. "What else can I use?"

I heard training, so I'm assuming that implies a lot more than just knowing how to use a dagger.

"You know your way around a bow and sword, though you're especially skillful with a lance." Jeralt seemed rather proud of that last one…

_Maybe he also uses a lance…_

"So where's my sword?" I wanna see it now!

"You broke it last week." Jeralt's response immediately dampened my mood. "Been meaning to buy you another, but then you got sick, so…"

"Ahh…" I guess that makes sense… "How did I break it?"

"Using it too much—you're supposed to take it to the blacksmith to restore its durability," Jeralt explained before reaching out to lightly flick me on the nose. "Which, you have been forgetting to do…but I won't fault you for that. Not this time."

So I just dodged a bullet…do bullets even exist? I fucking doubt it, since we're using stuff like bows and swords… "Hey—why do you have so many friends?"

Might as well get that question out of the way, because I _still_ find it strange that Jeralt knows so many people…

"Friends…oh, you're talking about the people that are part of my company." Jeralt nodded his head. "I run a company of mercenaries—at least a hundred of them."

_A hundred?!_

"What?!" That's a lot of fucking people. "And they just follow you?!"

"That's what they're supposed to do," Jeralt explained. "Their contracts are with me, after all."

"Damn…" That's impressive.

"So long as you have a high enough authority, anyone can lead a battalion." Jeralt reached out to ruffle my hair. "I'll entrust a few of my mercenaries with you."

A terrible decision, really, but I don't think I can talk him out of this one. I guess I'll just have to deal with it…

_What fun…_

Ahahha, someone **help** me.

…

…

I later found out the reason why Jeralt was telling me all this was because we were leaving tomorrow…at dawn.

_Fuck._

I am not a morning person and no amount of sleep is _ever_ enough for me. So when I got woken up like hours before the sun was even rising, I swore up a storm and threw a pillow at Jeralt.

"I did tell you we had to leave at dawn." Jeralt only laughed when I threw another pillow at him.

"Just leave the room and let me change…" If I need any help, I'll ask for it after I leave…which is what I end up doing, because I still haven't a clue how to put on my own armor.

_Fucking heck!_

Muscle memory failed me here, that's for damn sure…

"Don't sulk so much—you always ask me for help with your armor," Jeralt is quick to reassure me, taking a moment to ruffle my hair when I stuck my tongue out at him. "You're being quite bratty today."

"Sorry…" I'm just grouchy from being woken up so early. Don't mind me.

"Don't be—it's fine." Man, I don't deserve having a father as patient as Jeralt… "It's not often you're this cute."

Okay, well I didn't expect that. "Daaaaaaaaaaaaaadddd…"

"I've never seen your face this red before." Oh my god, shut uuppppppp—you're making it _worse_!

As if things couldn't get any worse, one of Jeralt's mercenaries barged into the house in a panic, interrupting whatever moment we were having. He paused for a moment, having noticed my flustered expression, almost about ready to comment on it before Jeralt threw a glare in his direction.

"Jeralt!" he gasped out. "Sir! Sorry to barge in, but your presence is needed!"

There wasn't much room for an explanation. Jeralt just asked him to lead the way and we just followed. We were brought outside, where a group of _eerily_ **familiar** people were waiting for us.

_Oh god, why do I recognize them?!_

The urge to scream rose within me, growing stronger and stronger as I stared at the three people—two boys and a girl in their late teens. I think they were about my age—physically, at least, because I have no idea how old I'm supposed to be in this body. I look younger than twenty-four, and everyone who I've met so far has been treating me like a child, so I'm assuming I'm likely under the age of twenty at the very least…

_That's me being generous._

"Please forgive our intrusion," said the pale-skinned boy with short, blond hair and blue eyes. He wore extravagant clothing accented in blue, setting him apart from the girl's red and the other boy's yellow. "We wouldn't bother you were the situation not dire."

"What do a bunch of kids like you want at this hour?" Yeah, what's your guys' excuse? Y'all should be asleep…

The sky is still dark, the stars are also out, and the sun is nowhere to be seen for another few hours. Honestly, we should _all_ be asleep…but Papa is a mercenary and he dragged me along for the ride.

_The life of a mercenary sucks._

That's my current verdict so far and I don't think it's going to change anytime soon…

_At least it's better than working in retail._

I think anything is better than that, though…it's not _that_ hard.

"We're being pursued by a group of bandits," the girl in red started to explain. She had quite a pretty face, with purple eyes and white hair. Her hair was at least styled more nicely than the boy in blue, what with his spaghetti hair that I was only just noticing… "I can only hope that you will be so kind as to lend your support."

"Bandits?" Jeralt arched his brow. "_Here_?"

_Wait—that doesn't sound good._

"It's true," the girl in red continues. "They attacked us while we were at rest in our camp."

"We've been separated from our companions and we're outnumbered." The boy in yellow brings a hand to his face. Unlike the two before him, he is of a darker complexion, with green eyes and dark, brown hair. A small braid dangles from the right side of his hair while a single gold earring hangs from his left ear. Despite the situation, he still manages to smile as he looks at Jeralt and I. "They're after our lives…not to mention our gold."

"That's not something you should be smiling at." I couldn't stop myself—the words just came out of my mouth.

The boy in yellow only laughs, seemingly amused with my response. "I guess not…"

"I'm impressed you're staying so calm, considering the situation." Jeralt furrowed his brow. "Wait… That uniform…"

"What about it?" I don't recognize anything except their faces—seriously, why do they look so _familiar_?!

Another of Jeralt's mercenaries—a scout—ran up to us, almost out of breath as he gave his report, "Bandits spotted just outside the village! There are a lot of them."

"I guess they followed you all the way here." Jeralt fixated an almost accusatory gaze on the three. "We can't abandon this village now. Hope you're ready, Noa."

Oh goody, I'm gonna be thrown into my first fight so soon…

_Ahahaha, someone fucking __**help**__ me._

The weight of the lance that was shoved into my hands by Jeralt feels uncomfortable, in ways that makes me want to throw up.

"Are you sure you should be letting someone so young fight?" the boy in yellow asked as he looked me over.

"If I were you, I wouldn't go underestimating my own daughter." Jeralt dismissed the boy in yellow's comment. "Besides, she is not that much older than you."

"Don't make me stab you." Look, I don't wanna be here, but that doesn't mean you can treat me like a child, okay?!

The boy in yellow only laughed. "You remind me of a classmate of mine!"

"Now that you mention it, they might even be the same height…" The boy in blue placed his hand on his chin in thought.

The girl in red remained silent, not wanting to contribute to the current conversation, which I was thankful for, because frankly, this was getting _annoying_.

"Arm up, everyone!" Jeralt commanded, earning many shouts of acknowledgemet from the many mercenaries that were around us. He patted me on the back, beckoning at the three teens afterwards to follow him. "Stay focused, Noa."

"I'll try…" I'm not looking forward to this…

…

…

Everything was on fucking fire. I don't know how I managed to miss this, but it was probably due to the distance where we were to the village. Screams can be heard throughout the village. Children and women were being urged to flee the site while the men were doing as best as they could to save anyone who happened to be trapped within the flames. Thankfully, there weren't any casualties—at least any that I could see with my own eyes.

I forced a smile as Jeralt gave us his orders on horseback. He spoke as clearly as possible, in order to ensure that everyone could understand him, regardless of their position on the field. The urge to scream was rising when he told me to keep an eye out for the three brats. The girl in red was not at all pleased to be called a brat, her grip on her axe growing tighter as if to suppress some of her anger. The boy in yellow kept laughing it off as he pulled out his quiver and bow. As for the boy in blue…he mostly stayed quiet, his gaze focused on the lance in his hands.

"What a fucking joke…" I barked out a nervous laugh, not knowing what else I could do. This was a nightmare that I wanted to wake up from, but no matter how much I told myself to wake up, I just couldn't…

_This is real…_

_This is fucking __**real**__…_

And I think I just ran ahead of everyone without even thinking **twice** about it!

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The screams left my mouth as I ran my lance into a bandit's gut. It disturbed me how **naturally** the action came to me, the way I pulled out and dodged the blade of an axe that was headed my way. Bile burned the back of my throat when an arrow went straight into a nearby bandit's eye, stopping him in his tracks as he tried to swing his sword at me.

"A little impatient, aren't we?" The boy in yellow twirled an arrow in his hand as he looked at me with a smile on his face.

I was gonna say something, but then I watched the girl in red decapitate a bandit with an axe.

_How can someone so small wield something so big?!_

_Ba-dump!_

Hot damn, I think I might be in love…or I might just be on the verge of an anxiety attack.

"Ahahahahahaha…" Yeah, that about seems right, from the way I can't stop laughing.

I think I managed to disturb good ol' spaghetti hair, since he just gave me this weird look before taking out another bandit in our vicinity. I couldn't help but watch the way he wielded his lance, almost as if I was trying to look for anything that I could learn from him.

_Interesting._

Oh, that's blood—that's a _lot_ of blood. I'm gonna huuurkkk…

_Oh hey, there's last night's dinner._

Gross. "Bleck…"

"First time seeing blood?" the boy in blue asked.

"No…?" If I sound uncertain, it's because I am, thanks to whatever memory shenanigans were going on in my head. Personally, it is my first time seeing so much blood, but there's a part of me that is _used_ to it. "Just ignore me!"

I laughed again as felt the blade of a sword barely graze my side. I used my lance to disrupt the balance of the bandit in front of me before taking advantage of the opening I created to pull out my dagger and slit her throat.

_This is way too easy for comfort._

And I'm referring to the fact that I just killed _two_ people within the span of like ten minutes. Not one—**two people**.

_Ooh, a sword!_

My ADHD kicked in with a vengeance as I recalled Jeralt saying that I knew my way around my sword and saw the sword that corpse at me feet possessed.

"It's free weaponry," I told myself as I confiscated the sword from the corpse. It made it easier to ignore the blood covering my hands…

* * *

…

…

This isn't Claude von Riegan's first time seeing blood, nor is it his first time seeing someone so small taking the initiative. His gaze is fixated on the teal-haired girl as she dispatches every bandit within her vicinity, his arrows helping her from time to time as he keeps his distance from the others.

He can see the looks that Edelgard and Dimitri give the girl, the way they just watch her take down bandit after bandit after bandit. Claude likes what he sees…as do Edelgard and Dimitri.

The gears in his head start to turn, thoughts flooding his head as he thinks of ways to get that little powerhouse on his side. With her on his side…

"_We could be unstoppable."_ A chuckle leaves his mouth when he watches the girl catch an arrow that misses its target, using the sharp tip to jab it in some poor, unsuspecting bandit's throat.

…

…

* * *

It's surprising how fast everything goes when you are part of group of capable fighters. It certainly helps that Jeralt is on a horse and knows how to fucking use his lance—better than me, actually.

_Hot damn, I want that!_

**Do** I want that?

…

_Yes._

We had them outnumbered when we finally scouted their leader—some guy by the name of Kostas. He's certainly seen better days, but that doesn't keep him from attacking me. Thankfully, I was able to use the forest around me to my advantage, evading the swings from his axe as I sliced at him with my sword.

The blade seemed kind of dull, so whatever hits that Kostas was taking wasn't enough to seriously injure him. It still hurt him, just not as much as a sharp blade would have. I feel I was better off just sticking to my lance, but the distance between us was so close, that it was easier to use a sword.

Jeralt kept scaring off the rest of the bandits aiding Kostas, making it easier to eventually overwhelm him. I was the one who dealt the finishing blow…

At least I _thought_ it was a finishing blow.

"Oh, what the fuck!" The man faked us out, jumping to his feet after the girl in red managed to get close enough while he was down on the ground. He lunged at her, his axe ready to split her in half.

I rushed after the girl, shoving her out of the way and using my sword to block off the attack. I almost didn't see the bandit behind Kostas, bow ready to shoot out an arrow in my direction.

_Oh fuck._

I closed my eyes, just waiting for the arrow to hit me.

It never came…

_What the…?_

When I opened my eyes, all I could see was darkness around me.

"Honestly!" I heard a very _familiar_ voice huff out in annoyance. "What are you accomplishing with that little stunt?!"

It felt like I was getting scolded like a child…which is ironic, considering the green-haired child that sat before me on a throne made out of stone.

"You again!" I pointed at her as she shook her head in disappointment.

"Well, it's fine…" she sighed. "After all, if you don't know the value of your own life, you're not going to protect it very well, are you?"

"In my defense, I wasn't expecting there to be someone behind that guy." Of course, that's more on me for not being that observant of my surroundings…

"Course not." The girl shook her head again. A smile soon crossed her face as she stood up, clapping her hands together as she exclaimed, "Well, then! I guess it's up to me to guide you from now on…right?"

"Uhhh…" What do you mean by that exactly?

"You can call me Sothis," she finally introduced herself to me.

"Sothis?" What kind of name is _that_?

_It's like naming your daughter Nah, or some shit…_

Oh no…

_Oh __**hell**__ no._

NOW I _know_ why those ears and green hair seemed so familiar!

_She's a fucking Manakete!_

Did I get shoved into the world of _Fire Emblem_? Wait…is this _Three Houses_?!

_Oh god, that guy in yellow was __**Claude**__!_

That makes the others Dimitri and…edgelord? I remember thinking it was edgelord, but it's not that!

_Give me a second…_

Edelgard—that's her name.

"Pay attention, Noa!" Sothis suddenly snapped at me, having noticed that I was spacing out. "Yes, my name is Sothis…but I am also known as 'The Beginning.'"

"That's ominous." Not as ominous as finding out that you got shoved into the world of a game series known for having permadeath for a good chunk of its existence…

"At least it is better than being named after a fruit," Sothis retorted. "Hmm… Yes, that _is_ it. My name is Sothis."

I guess she wasn't sure the first time.

"And I am also called… The Beginning." Sothis closed her eyes for a moment to think. "But who once called me that?"

"You okay?" I couldn't help but ask.

Sothis opened her eyes again. "I was not able to recall my name…until just now. And just like that, it came to me. How odd…"

"Memories can be like that—it happens." I know I haven't ever been in a position where I'd forgotten my own name…but there was a moment in my life where I forgot how old I was.

_That was fucking wild._

And I guess that now applies again, too, since this isn't my body to begin with…

"That look upon your face…" Sothis's face contorted into a scowl. "Did you think me a child? A mere child who forgot her own name?!"

"Nonono—I wasn't thinking that!" I quickly explained myself. "I was just thinking about how I don't know how old I am…"

Of course, that still isn't stopping me from thinking that Sothis looks like a child…

"That 'child' just saved your life!" Oh crap—can she read my mind?! "I can hear your thoughts for the most part!"

_Oh __**fuck**__!_

"I'm sorry—but you look like one!" I slapped myself on the forehead for being such an idiot. The last thing I wanted to do was piss of Sothis, and that is _exactly_ what I did anyways!

"Coming from someone of your appearance, it feels like an insult." Dude, are you saying I look like a kid?

_How much of a babyface do I have?!_

"If I am a 'child'—then what does that make _you_?" Sothis crossed her arms over her chest.

"I'm…less than a child?" I sounded so uncertain, not knowing what else to say that wouldn't piss her off.

"Correct!" Sothis smiled, obviously pleased with my response. "You understand."

I sighed inwardly in relief, just happy to get off of Sothis's bad side…

"You threw yourself before an axe to save just one girl," Sothis said.

"That's not _all_ I did!" I blocked that attack!

"And yet, you failed to notice the other brigand behind that man." Sothis narrowed her eyes.

"You got me there." There's no explaining myself out of that one…

"No matter." Sothis shook her head. "All is well, as I have stalled the flow of time for now. You would have died had I not intervened."

"Oh geez." I didn't think it was _that_ bad… "Thank you."

I placed a hand on my chest, bowing gratefully towards Sothis for saving my life…

"There, now." Sothis's smile widened. "Is gratitude so much to ask? I did deem you worth saving, after all."

"And I can't thank you enough for that." Seriously, _thank you_!

Sothis was pleased with my comment, though her smile quickly wavered as she said, "Though, it is only momentary, time has stopped. However did I manage that…"

Don't look a gift horse in the mouth! "Just let it happen, Sothis—what's done is done!"

"I suppose you are right…" Sothis sighed. "Still, I would prefer to have some answers…"

"So…" I tried to change the subject. "What will happen when time resumes?"

"When time begins again, the arrow will pierce your flesh, and you will surely meet your end," Sothis explained.

Oh, nice—I got a mental image from that. Thanks…

"How rude of you to drag me into this!" Sothis exclaimed, sounding like a child on the verge of a temper tantrum. "Now what to do…"

"I mean, if you can stop time, why don't you just—ya know, reverse it?" I mean, that's assuming you can do that. "Turn back the hands of time or whatnot…"

"Of course!" Sothis nodded her head. "I must turn back the hands of time!"

Holy shit, I didn't think she could actually do that.

_I cannot let her know I was grasping for straws…_

"Too late." Sothis smirked.

Before I even had a chance to say anything back at her, a glowing circle with weird symbols on it appeared right in front of her. In the center was a strange sigil that seemed too familiar… Like, I've seen it before, even though this _should_ be the first time I've seen it.

"Yes…I do believe it can be done!" Sothis balled up her hands into fists. "You really are quite troublesome."

"Gee, thanks." Back at you, Sothis…even though she _does_ have a point.

_I should really stop trying to piss her off…_

"I cannot wind back time too far, but all is well," Sothis reassured me. "You are aware of what's to come, which means you can protect yourself this time."

That was a warning she was giving me—to stay alert the exact moment she finishes rewinding time.

"Now, go…" Sothis told me, her expression growing serious. "Yes, you who bears the flames within. Drift through the flow of time to find the answers that you seek…"

She was being pretty dramatic, so I almost want to snark back at her, but I stopped when this strange sense of déjà vu suddenly overwhelmed me, shoving me back into the exact moment before Kostas jumped to his feet. Knowing of the events to come, I switched to my lance and used its long length to knock Kostas off his feet. It gave me enough distance and space to quickly react to the arrow that heading towards me. I caught the arrow before it had a chance to pierce my chest, throwing it afterwards at the boy in yellow—Claude—who quickly loaded the arrow up in his bow and shot it back at the bandit who tried to attack me.

The arrow ended up missing, though it was enough to distract the lone bandit from noticing the boy in blue—Dimitri—who was heading in his direction. The bandit never saw it coming—not until the blade from Dimitri's lance plunged into his gut. Blood splattered out of his mouth and within moments, he fell to the ground in a lifeless heap.

Kostas saw everything as it happened. He looked around, noticing the bandits that were fleeing on sight. Deciding that it was a smarter move to leave than to stay, he retreated. We almost followed after him, but Jeralt stopped us.

"Let him…" he told us. "It's better this way."

I wasn't one to argue with someone who knew better, even though a part of me felt angry that I wasn't able to take Kostas down. At least the village is okay…kinda—I mean it's still on fire, but…

_I'll just not think about it._

I'll cross that bridge when I get there—likely when I learn more about myself, considering that I just found out I'm in the world of _Fire Emblem: Three Houses_.

_Yeah, that's a thing._

And I guess I'm the main character…yeah…what fun…

_If this is a dream, please let me wake up—my hands are starting to get sticky from the blood._

As if noticing my distress, the girl in red—Edelgard—approached me and asked for my hand as she pulled out a handkerchief from her pocket.

"Hold still," she told me before using her handkerchief to clean off the blood on my hands.

I felt bad that she was using such a pretty handkerchief for something like this, but she refused to listen to me.

"I can wash it off later," she explained.

"Nothing like soap and water to wash out the blood!" Claude winked at me.

_Ba-dump!_

Oh damn, I forgot how pretty of a face he had… "Sh-Shush!"

Fucking hell, I'm getting a bit lightheaded from this…

"Are you alright?" Dimitri asked, looking rather concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I'm just…" Really having a hard time breathing right now, whew…

I'm gonna… I'm gonna…

"Uuugh…"

* * *

…

…

It happens far too suddenly for Jeralt's comfort. The blood drains from his face when watches his daughter collapse to the ground. He yells out her name as he gets off his horse, running immediately towards her before a voice calling out suddenly stops him in his tracks

"The Knights of Seiros are here!" a man dressed in armor calls out. "We'll cut you down for terrorizing our students."

Unbelievable…just when Jeralt thinks he has managed to run away from it all, Alois had to show up and prove to him just how hard it is to leave one's past behind. Alois reacts exactly the way he expects, boisterous as ever as he is too caught up with his presence to take notice of the scene before him.

Those three teenagers surround Noa's unconscious body, talking to each other as they tried to do something about it.

"Is she alright?" Dimitri asks as he watches Claude carefully handle the girl's unconscious body.

"She's…fine…?" Claude arches his brow upon noticing something extremely…_peculiar_. "I think she just passed out from exhaustion."

His eyes won't look away from her chest as it goes up and down with each breath she takes. His hand goes to her wrist, his fingers carefully searching for her pulse.

"_How very peculiar…"_ Claude thinks to himself before looking up at Edelgard and Dimitri. "Still alive, just unconscious…"

"Should we carry her?" Dimitri asks.

"I'll do it," Claude is quick to offer.

Dimitri furrows his brow. "I am stronger than you. It would be wise for me to carry her so you may defend us with your bow."

"Hmmmmmm…no?" Claude smirks, finding Dimitri's reasoning all too amusing. He's already lifting the girl off the ground, finding her rather light for someone who he's seen take down a number of bandits with only a sword and a lance.

Despite seeing the little trouble that Claude has with carrying the girl, Dimitri still doesn't stop from offering to carry her instead. The two go back and forth with each other, leaving Edelgard to watch in absolute bewilderment.

"Unbelievable," she mutters under her breath. She walks up to Claude and scoops the girl out of his arms. "Both of you—shut up."

Claude and Dimitri stare wide-eyed at Edelgard, who looks at them with such annoyance on her face.

"I don't think her father would approve of two young men fighting over who gets to carry his daughter," she explains all too bluntly, turning her head to Jeralt, who is in the middle of a conversation with Alois. "We'll take turns until otherwise, with me going first…fair enough?"

"That's fair." Claude nods his head.

"Right." Dimitri also agrees, somewhat intimidated with Edelgard's demeanor.

The three of them make their way over to Alois and Jeralt, the former immediately reacting to the unconscious girl in Edelgard's arms.

"What happened?!" he asks.

"She just passed out," Edelgard responds, still somewhat annoyed with Claude and Dimitri. She turns attention to Jeralt, and asks, "Do you have any idea why she would pass out?"

Jeralt brings a hand to his head. "She was bedridden with a high fever just a few days ago…"

"Ahh, so it was exhaustion!" Claude brings his fist down into the open palm of his hand.

"I should have told her to stay behind…" Jeralt regrets having her fight so soon…

"If that's the case, then I insist you return to the monastery with me!" Alois is quick to suggest. "We can have her checked out in case it's something serious."

"I…" Jeralt would prefer not to go back to the Garreg Mach Monastery, but… considering the situation before him, he doesn't have much of a choice. It wouldn't be a wise decision to run away from a Knight of Seiros anyways… "I'll take up your offer. Just lead the way."

"You got it, Captain!" Alois smiles widely. "I'm assuming this little one is your child?"

"She is my daughter." He looks at Noa as the girl in red carries her in her arms. "Do you need any help?"

"It's fine!" she huffs out. "Nothing I can't handle."

"You should rest up from the fight in the meantime," the boy in blue suggest.

"Can't have you passing out on us either," the boy in yellow remarks.

Jeralt tries to argue, but some of his mercenaries start to agree with what he's been told. "Alright, I'll entrust my daughter with you…for the time being."

He reaches out to ruffle Noa's hair, feeling a sense of pride welling within his chest when he hears her mutter out, "Papa…"

If it's for her own safety, then he'll do anything for her… So for the time being, he decides to take his chances. He just hopes that it won't be anything he'll regret…

…

…

…

* * *

A/N I'm on a mission to get as many chapters out before I head back to class on Monday, but like…I only have two classes this semester, so it should be fine. Either way, my hyperfixation is refusing to leave me alone, so here I am, indulging it. Shout out to **Lyrecho**, for helping me out with this chapter.

I'm gonna cut to the chase since I wasn't that aware that I couldn't add pairing tags to the character selection or whatever. Anyways, this is a Claude/Byleth/Dimitri fic—so we getting poly up in this business. But seriously, this is just one of the many pairings in this fic. I'll just let it do the speaking on what I meant when I said that I make my own routes.

That aside, when I drew the cover for this fic (by the way, I hope you guys like that cover, I'm proud of it), I didn't mean to make SI!Byleth look so small, and because of my discord server just going "SMOL" and "BABY", it ended up having an influence on our SI. Now all I can say is that Lysithea takes one look at her and refuses to believe that she's any older than her.

Anyways, Byleth might not remember anything, but her body does, so that's muscle memory kicking in! Yeah…I'd doubt it'd be anything she'd forget so easily, if she doesn't it all too often, so that's why it's just…happening.

By the way, thank you to everyone who's been leaving reviews! I really appreciate it, and it's what's motivated me to keep writing! I crave that validation, so don't be afraid to leave any more reviews—I highly encourage them, actually!

This is about all I have for now, so I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Until next time, everyone! KD out! XD


	3. They Shouldn't Have Hired Me

A/N Before anything, I'd like to give my lovely girlfriend, **Lyrecho**, a shout-out because it's her birthday today! Happy birthday love!

* * *

…

…

There are a lot of things I wasn't expecting to see when I opened my eyes. Edelgard's incredibly pretty face was _definitely_ on that list.

_Thud!_

Finding out that I had woken up in her arms was another, and something I wish I noticed earlier _before_ I flailed about and fell onto the ground like a sack of potatoes.

"Uugh…" I groaned out, still somewhat disoriented as I struggled to get on my feet. I ended up fumbling into someone else's arms, unable to maintain my balance.

"You alright?" Said someone happened to be Claude, who seemed far too amused with the events that had occurred before him. His just as pretty face caught me off-guard with our close proximity, causing my face to heat up with a blush.

_Why is everyone so god damn pretty?!_

"I believe it's my turn to carry her." Oh god, why?!

My thoughts were a jumbled mess of words as Claude managed to sweep me off my feet. I immediately covered my face, unable to look at anyone—not even my own father, who just asked if I was okay.

"N-Nooo…" It was hard to think straight…and that's not even taking into consideration that I wasn't straight to begin with.

_I don't think this is the time for jokes, brain!_

"Anyways, my name is Claude von Riegan—might I ask what yours is?" Claude, you smooth, motherfucker!

"N-Noa…" I stuttered out, my hands still covering my face.

"Like the fruit?" Dimitri asked, having overheard.

"The exact same." Oh god dammit, Dad! Why do you sound so _prouuuddd_?!

_When I get my hands on that fruit, I am going to give it a piece of my mind!_

And by that, I'm probably just gonna eat it…yeah, cuz that's what you do with fruit.

"I am Edelgard von Hresvelg of the Adrestian Empire," Edelgard decided to introduce herself, which ended my muddling most of my thoughts because _wow_, that is a **mouthful**!

_Slow down, edgelord!_

"I am Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd." Dammit, spaghetti hair! This is _waaay_ too much to take in all at once. I pretty much tuned out whichever place he said he's from, no thanks to my auditory processing disorder kicking in when I least wanted it to…

_What fun!_

I have no idea what anyone is saying right now. All I could do was pretend that I was following along as I continued to hide my face behind my hands. That decision eventually bit me in the ass when Claude _finally_ managed to catch my attention by asking a question that I **literally** did not know how to answer.

"Where does your allegiance lie?" I made the biggest mistake of my life by peering out of the gaps in my fingers without any caution. That is how I fell victim to Claude's _breathtaking_ smile and turned into a puddle of mush.

_Ba-dump!_

"Y-Youuuuuuu…" I'm feeling all lightheaded again, ahahahhaa… Everything's getting all spinny…

"Is that right?" Claude responds, sounding oddly amused for reasons that I cannot even fathom at this point in time. "Well, that's a win for the Alliance, so I suppose I'm obligated to be happy."

"A wha…?" Excuse me?

"_**These three were vying for your attention in hopes of recruiting you to their side."**_ HELLO RANDOM VOICE IN MY HEAD THAT WASN'T THERE BEFORE!

_Sothis?! Is that you?!_

"_**Since you weren't paying attention, I decided to do so in your stead. My, you have such a terrible attention span… How ever will you get by without me?"**_

_LISTEN, I managed on my own for the first eighteen years of my life without any help!_

"_**And I've noticed you struggled greatly throughout it all."**_

…

…

_Okay, you got me there._

"_**You should acknowledge your shortcomings instead of trying to deny them."**_

_I knowww…so how much of my memories did you see?_

"_**Enough to know that you are not the original owner of this body."**_

_Guess __**that**__ cat's out of the bag…_

"_**I am most perplexed by how your situation came to be."**_

_You and me both, Sothis._

"_**Regardless, I do not think it matters much."**_

_And why is that?_

"_**You are in the process of assimilating to your new form."**_

_Excuse me?!_

"_**Regretfully, it is something that is completely out of my control…but do not fret."**_

_Why the hell not?_

"_**Little by little, your memories of this life will return. Life will go on as usual, as though nothing had ever happened…"**_

…_yeah, I'm calling bullshit._

"_**There is no need to be so crude… However, I must admit that it would be in poor taste to say that such a thing would happen, considering the current turn of events. Rather…life as you know it will never be the same."**_

_Thank you for being honest…_

"_**Do not sulk over that which is out of your control. Take advantage of the life you have now! Look past the life that you left behind and instead, look ahead toward the future that you can create for yourself. You are not alone…I will make sure of that."**_

…_Sothis?_

"_**Yes?"**_

_Thank you._

It's still a lot to take in…the fact that there isn't anything that I can do about the life that I've left behind. I will admit that I haven't given it much thought…why?

_Because it made everything easier._

Things are so much easier to handle when you just _don't_ think about it. Like the fact that I have teal-colored hair and blue eyes. None of that even comes close to the dark shades of brown that I was so used to seeing…

There's also the fact that I'm interacting with characters from a video game that I know next to nothing about, but that doesn't seem to be too much of an issue…

…

Wait…

_I don't know __**anything**__._

All I've seen is the trailers…

_Isn't there like five-year timeskip that happens?_

Oh…oh, that's bad—that's _really_ fucking **bad**!

_Fuck me sideways into next week!_

I gotta deal with whatever mess that these three lunkheads cause within the next five years that brings on a war!

_I am __**so**__ boned._

Try to look on the bright side, try to look on the bright side, try to look on the bright side—OH MY FUCKING GOD, GET ME OUT OF HERE!

_Sothis!_

"_**Your mind is an utter mess of emotions right now!"**_

_I knowwww!_

* * *

…

…

"She's awfully quiet now," Dimitri points out, somewhat concerned with how quiet Noa has been these past ten minutes.

"She's probably thinking twice about her decision," Edelgard suggests, likely hopeful that Noa will change her mind.

"I seriously doubt that." Claude laughs at the glare that Edelgard sends his way. "Regardless, it still is her decision."

"And it would do you some good to respect that." Ahh, it seems the father of the girl has decided to join the conversation. "I'd leave her be if I were you."

It's not so much of a suggestion he gives, but a command. Had it not been for Alois being…well, himself, then the conversation would have died at that exact moment. Thankfully, the boisterous knight manages to divert Jeralt's attention away from Claude, Edelgard, and Dimitri.

Of course, it only takes a few minutes for Jeralt to bring the conversation back on them, with Alois backing him up. And that is how Edelgard, Dimitri, and Claude received an hour-long lecture about bothering Noa when she isn't in any state to be making such decisions.

By the end of that lecture, Claude is handing Noa off to Dimitri. He holds her closely to his chest for fear of suddenly dropping her, as Edelgard had when she had woken up. It's not anything that Claude is letting her forget so soon, much to her annoyance. While the two are busy with their banter, Dimitri focuses his attention on Noa as she slowly uncovers her face.

She stares at him with those big, blue eyes of hers, almost like a cat observing its surroundings. She is just as small as one, with mannerisms similar to the monastery cats that would often go lax in his arms.

"You're just like a cat," he tells her, his hand reaching up to pet her hair. He stops himself as he realizes what it is that he's trying to do, so he takes his hand away and pretends that didn't just happen.

_Ba-dump!_

And yet, his heart refuses to leave him be. _"How embarrassing."_

…

…

* * *

_What the fuck was that?!_

"_**I believe that was his heartbeat accelerating."**_

_Why in the hell would it be doing that?_

"_**I wonder…"**_

_Ba-dump!_

There it fucking goes again!

"Are you good?" I finally decided to speak to good, ol' spaghetti hair.

"I am…fine." The somewhat nervous look on Dimitri's face says otherwise. "How is it that you were able to take down those bandits?"

"Uhhhh…" Shit. "Training?"

Dimitri blinked. "Training?"

"Ahahha, you _know_…" I because I fucking don't.

Dimitri stared at me for a moment before nodding his head. "May I ask you for some training tips?"

"P-Papaaaaa!" Get me out of this conversation!

"If you have any questions, you can direct them at me." Holy shit, Jeralt—you are the best Dad EVER! "I am the one who taught her everything that she knows."

Ignoring the other half of whatever fighting style this body picked up over the years…because Jeralt still fights a lot better than me. And whatever the hell I was doing was a bit more…spontaneous?

_Ehh, I guess?_

I don't know what else to call it besides random, but it's not so much as random, but just…impulsive, I guess.

_Whatever._

Putting all that aside, I'm just glad that Jeralt managed to direct Dimitri's attention onto himself. At first, Dimitri was just asking questions and Jeralt was doing his best to answer them. Then Alois joined the conversation and all of a sudden, Dimitri stopped asking questions.

_Instead_…he started adding comments here and there, as the conversation had quickly shifted into a discussion about fighting techniques. Soon, Claude and Edelgard had joined the conversation, each chiming in with their own fighting techniques that could certainly prove useful to anyone listening in on them…

Too bad I wasn't paying any fucking attention to what they were saying…

_Why?_

Because a little birdy started singing.

…

…

_That's it—that's the __**actual**__ fucking reason._

"_**You are unbelievable."**_

_Blame the way my brain functions!_

It says a lot when it takes me like _twenty fucking minutes_ to realize that the sun has long since risen. And the only reason I noticed in the first place is because my face got flashed with an especially _bright_ beam of sunlight that was streaming through one of the many gaps in the tree branches above us.

It amazes me how little attention I actually give to my surroundings at first glance…And yet, the instant I spotted that singing, little birdy, I couldn't avert my gaze. Oh, look—another birdy!

"_**You really **_**are**_** in need of my guidance…"**_

"If you'd like, I'd be happy to show you around the monastery." And just like that, Dimitri snapped me out of my thoughts.

"What?" I couldn't help but ask, not knowing if I heard him right the first time.

"The monastery—I can show you around." I don't know why he's talking about a monastery, but since he's offering…

"Sure," I said, not realizing the consequences of my actions until Claude opened his mouth and said something that managed to get on Edelgard's nerves.

"Trying to get on her good side, are you?" Claude had only meant to tease Dimitri, from the way his eyes almost gleamed with mischief.

"You can't keep her all to yourself, Claude." Edelgard's pretty face contorted into a scowl.

"Who's keeping her?" Dimitri asked, seemingly confused with Edelgard's comment.

_What the absolute fuck?_

"_**I believe that they are still vying for your attention. While you did make your decision, there seems to be some hope that you will change your mind…which is where most of the conflict seems to lie."**_

_For fuck's sake, I just met them!_

And yet, that doesn't stop Claude, Edelgard, and Dimitri from acting like a bunch of children fighting over a shiny, new toy.

_This is it…this is my life now._

Oh god, this is my life now…

"_**I'm going back to sleep…"**_

Please don't leave me alone—SOTHIS!

_Take me with you, you god damn gremlin!_

…

…

I should consider myself fortunate that we weren't far from our destination. Really, I should, considering that it was in plain sight once we left the forest…and yet, that still doesn't stop me from wanting to tell everyone to hurry the hell up.

_Get me out of here._

Sothis is asleep, so I'm on my own, dealing with the disaster trio. I've been passed around like a hot potato, because it was the only thing keeping them from _physically_ fighting each other. God damn, edgelord was _this_ close to taking out her axe…

A part of me just wanted to close my eyes and just wait it all out… We were nearing the monastery anyways—speaking of which, that thing is fucking _massive_.

_Holy crap!_

The Garreg Mach Monastery looked exactly like something you'd find in a medieval fantasy…which is what _Fire Emblem_ is in a nutshell. So…nothing out of the usual, I guess.

_Let's think on the bright side…_

At least we don't have to deal with any child units…

_**Fates**__ can kiss my ass with its baby realms, and Lucina will always be my daughter._

Getting accidentally plot married to Chrom is still one of the highlights of my _Awakening_ experience…

_If only I knew what to expect from __**Three Houses**__…_

Besides the war that's gonna happen in like five years…I should probably do something about that.

_I should._

But I should also focus on the present, because Claude just pinched my nose and, "What the hell?!"

"You were distracted, so I couldn't help myself!" Claude only laughed when I slapped his hands away.

"You don't do that!" I whined before finally trying to push him away, like a cat that's had enough. "I want Dimitri to carry me!"

Dimitri perked up to that and held out his arms. "I don't mind."

"I do!" Edelgard piped up.

"Relax, relax!" Claude's laughter grew nervous, especially when I almost managed to jump out of his arms. "Careful—you'll hurt yourself!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" I finally snapped.

And just like that, Jeralt got off his horse and walked over to Claude. Within the span of a few seconds, he scooped me out of Claude's arms and walked back to his horse. As he was walking back, I looked over his shoulder and stuck my tongue out at the disaster trio. Childish, yes, but it was all I could think of after all the stress they've put me through.

When we arrived at the monastery, my attention went everywhere to take in my new surroundings. At some point, my father stopped walking, letting everyone else go ahead of us as. He looked up, his gaze focusing on a balcony where a woman in white was staring down at us from.

"Rhea's here…" he said, looking especially tense.

_Rhea?_

Is that who that person is? She reminds me a bit of Sothis, but only cuz her hair is green…and that's all I can say, because how in the _hell_ am I going to get a good look at her from where I am? Hopefully, she isn't as bad as my father is making her out to be…

…

…

"It's been years since I've last set eyes on this place." Jeralt still wasn't so keen on being here, though we didn't have that much of a choice. "You sure you're alright?"

"'m fine." I stretched out my arms and legs, trying to get used to not being carried anymore. Feels kinda good to walk again…

_Let's see how long __**that**__ lasts…_

I yawned loudly as I gave the room a quick look over. We were brought into an audience chamber, its size far massive than any room I've ever been in. The floors were decorated with colorful tiles, with statues lining the pathway to the throne that was ahead of us.

"You've been here before?" I asked Jeralt, since it certainly doesn't seem like it's his first time being here.

"I've never spoken of this to you before…" he began, a wry smiling soon tugging at his lips. "Though I supposed you wouldn't remember it anyways…"

"Sorry…" I frowned.

"Don't be—it's not your fault." As far as you know… "Anyways, many years ago, I was a knight here. I reported to the archbishop…Lady Rhea."

"Lady Rhea…" That name again…

"A majority of the folks in Fódlan are devout followers of the teaching of Seiros," Jeralt explained.

_So Seiros is like Naga…_

God, it's actually been ages since I sat down and played _Awakening_…

_I still regret marrying Yarne to Kjelle…_

That poor, anxious bastard deserved better…

"The leader of that ridiculously large religious organization is the archbishop, Lady Rhea," Jeralt continued, reaching out to lightly flick me on the nose to catch my attention. "Don't let your attention drift for too long."

"Sorry…" I rubbed my nose.

"You've always had that problem." Jeralt sighed, his hand going to his head. He tensed up for a moment, his hand reaching out to grab my shoulder. "Stay sharp."

It's all I got as a warning before two people with green hair walked into view. One of them was Lady Rhea—the woman in white. She had light green eyes and pale skin, with hair that was long and decorated with white flowers where her ears should be. She had such a kind smile on her face as she looked at me and Jeralt.

The other person was a young man dressed in a dark blue suit who was only a few more inches taller than Lady Rhea. His hair was shorter than hers, and was also a darker shade of green. He also had a chinstrap beard and had a rather handsome face…but he's not my type, so I'll just put that thought aside.

_Let's see how long __**that**__ lasts._

"Thank you for your patience, Jeralt," spoke the man with green hair. "My name is Seteth. I am an advisor to the archbishop."

"Right. Hello." That's all Jeralt could say, seeing as he didn't want to be here.

I kinda didn't want to be here, either, but it seems neither of us has that much of a choice…

"It has been a long time, Jeralt," Rhea said, her smile never once leaving her face. "I wonder…was it the will of the goddess that we have another chance meeting like this?"

Jeralt bowed apologetically to Rhea. "Forgive my silence all these years. Much has happened since we last spoke."

Oh, I guess he must be talking about me… "H…Hello."

"So I see." Rhea's smile only widened when her gaze fell upon me. "The miracle of fatherhood has blessed you. That is your child, is it not?"

There was this urge I had to hide behind Jeralt because of the eyes that were on me…so I decided to indulge in my anxiety and do just that. It earned a couple of laughs from Rhea, which made my face burn from embarrassment. I felt Jeralt place his hand on top of my head, his finger gently tousling my hair.

"Yes… Born many years after I left this place." Wait—how long has it been since you last been here?

_How old am I?!_

A part of me wants to ask, but I decided that now was not a good time to do so…

"I wish I could introduce you to the mother of my child…but I'm afraid we lost her to illness." So _that's_ why it's just us… I didn't know that—or rather, I didn't _remember_ that.

_I don't remember __**anything**__._

Not yet, at least, if what Sothis had to say is correct…

"My condolences." A look of regret crossed Rhea's expression briefly before her gaze shifted back onto me. She looked at me with such warm eyes that almost made me lower my guard…_almost_. "As for you… I heard of your valiant efforts from Alois."

Yeah, which Alois heard from Dimitri, Claude, and Edelgard—seriously, that man can talk up a storm. No wonder my dad looks so exhausted when he's around the guy…

"What is your name?" Rhea asked me, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Noa…" I answered somewhat quietly, trying my best not to stutter.

"Ah, like the fruit?" Rhea couldn't help but chuckle as she turned her attention back to Jeralt, who just nodded his head. "Quite a fine name that you've picked for her."

I feel like there's something she knows that I don't that makes her sound so intrigued with my name. Like, I get that it's kind of funny…but there _has_ to be more to it than just that.

"That aside…" Rhea turned back to me. "From the bottom of my heart, I thank you for saving those students of the Officers Academy.'"

"It's nothing." Ignoring the fact that I've killed people—which is a thing that happened.

_That I'm trying not to think about._

Ignore the blood on your hands, ignore the blood on your hands, ignore the blood on your hands…

_Ahhahahhahahaha, I need help._

"Jeralt…" And it seems that Rhea has her eyes back on my father. Goody. "You already know what it is that I wish to say, do you not?"

"You want me to rejoin the Knights of Seiros, don't you?" Jeralt heaved out a sigh. "I won't say no, but…"

Jeralt _really_ doesn't want to be here, and by that extension, I don't either. I don't know what happened, but it's making me hella wary…

"Your apprehension stings." Rhea frowned. "I had expected that Alois would have already asked this of you."

_What the fuck happened here?!_

I looked up at Jeralt, who just shushed me. He actually shushed me—the _nerve_!

"I must step away for now, but I expect they will desire a word with you soon," Rhea said. "Please listen carefully to what they have to say. Until tomorrow… Farewell."

And that was that—Rhea left the audience chamber after that. Jeralt only sighed and shook his head, watching as Seteth followed after her. As soon as he was certain that we were alone, he spoke to me.

"I can't believe it." Jeralt pinched the bridge of his nose. "Forced back into the Knights of Seiros."

"Do you really not have a choice?" I asked him.

"Unfortunately, I don't." Jeralt heaved out another sigh, looking far too tired to deal with anything else. "I'm sorry I dragged you into this. Looks like I'll be stuck here for a while…and I'm afraid your services are requested as well."

"Wait, what?" Since when?!

"You weren't paying attention, so I was expecting this." It bugs me that Jeralt is so used to this that he isn't even surprised…at the same time, it's kind of comforting. Because at least he's not scolding me—ack!

"Daaaaaaaaad!" He flicked me on the nose again!

"Don't know why they want you to teach when you're like this." Jeralt only laughed when I slapped his hand away.

"Me…_teach_?" What the entire _fuck_ am I being told? "Papa…Papa, _**why**_?!"

I am like the last person who should _ever_ be trusted to teach people!

"You heard those brats earlier talking about the Officers Academy, right?" I…may have heard bits and pieces—or not. I honestly don't remember… "Well, _now_ you have—anyways, the academy just happens to be short a professor. And apparently, that damned Alois went and recommended you to Lady Rhea."

_Oh, what a load of horse crap!_

Alois, you're on my shitlist for giving me a job that requires me to wake up early to teach people!

_Hello—there are people here!_

When I wasn't paying attention, two new people entered the audience chamber to meet us.

"Hello—you must be the new professor!" a mature, older woman greeted my father. She had short, brown hair styled in a bob and brown eyes accentuated with orange eyeshadow. A mole dotted the area under her left eye and her lips were painted orange. She was dressed in a green dress that accentuated her legs and her cleavage, with a white cloak that helped her cover up.

The woman was accompanied by a dapper-looking gentleman who appeared to be in his fifties and wore a grayish brown suit with a monocle. His hair was gray with age and his eyes were a dark shade of blue. He had a rather neat mustache and a small beard on his chin…

Okay, at this point I'm staring at the dapper old, man, and that's **only** because he reminds me of Moriarty from _Fate/Grand Order_…who I am _especially_ thirsty for.

_Oh god, this is gonna be my new life—still thirsting after old men…_

I _swear_ I have other types…

_Like busty blondes and dorks…_

And a variety of others that cannot be summed up by mere type, if my gacha experience and luck in _Fate/Grand Order_ has anything to say.

_Rest in fucking piece, my beautiful NP 4 Level 100 Ozymandias—you __**will**__ be missed._

God, I miss my old life already…

"My, how stern and handsome you are!" And it seems this lady is going after my dad!

…

Oh right—she thought _he_ was the teacher. Ahahah, wouldn't blame her…still doesn't change the fact that she's hitting on him.

"Er, no—I'm not the one you're looking for." Jeralt cleared his throat as he placed his hand behind my back and pushed me into view, like the traitor he is! "You can handle things from here. Good luck."

_Papa, __**no**__—don't leave me alone like this!_

I inwardly screamed when he started making his way out of the audience chamber. Though before he did, he leaned in and whispered into my ear, "Watch out for Lady Rhea."

_What?_

"I don't know what she's thinking, making you a professor like this." I don't know what anyone is thinking, for even _considering_ making **me** a professor. "She may be up to something. Stay on your guard."

Jeralt left after that, leaving me alone with these two… "H-Hi…"

"Oh…it's you, then?" The woman's eyes widened. "So young…"

"Competence and age are not necessarily correlated, as you well know," said the dapper old man.

_Why you gotta be so fucking hot…?_

Hhhhh, I hate how attractive I find him…it's making _everything_ awkward.

_Not as awkward as it was with Claude, Dimitri, and Edelgard…_

But it's certainly getting there!

"I am Hanneman, a Crest scholar and professor at the Officers Academy," the dapper old man introduced himself. "I wonder if you bear a Crest of your own. When next you have a moment to spare, I insist that you pay me a visit so we can delve into the subject further."

I don't know what a Crest is, but sure—anything to learn more about _you_.

_I should stop—I'm way too young for him._

At least in this body I am…

"I'm Manuela," the woman introduced herself. "I'm a professor, a physician, a songstress, and available. It's nice to meet you!"

I ignored that last one, and instead focused on the thing that caught my attention the most. "You're a songstress?"

"Of course!" Manuela smiled widely. "Before I came here, I belonged to a renowned opera company. Perhaps you've heard of me? The Mittlefrank Opera Company's beautiful, peerless—"

"Spare our colleague the needless chatter, Manuela." Hanneman frowned. "Now then, it seems you'll be taking charge of one of the academy's three houses."

_Ah, yes—__**three**__ houses._

I already know who I'm choosing…although, maybe I should think twice about it? I mean, this is no longer a video game, so…ehhhhh.

"I expect you haven't yet been briefed on the nature of each, have you?" Hanneman looked questioningly at me.

"Nope." I didn't even try to hide it.

"Do you really not know?" Manuela tilted her head to the side. "Fine, I'll do you a favor and explain."

_Oh, my god—thank you!_

I love this woman already!

"The Officers Academy is comprised of three houses of students, each of which is closely affiliated with its region of origin," Manuela began in a clear and concise manner. "The Black Eagle House is for students from the Adrestian Empire. Their house leader this year is Edelgard, the Imperial princess, who is in line to be the next emperor."

Okay, okay…I'm getting it. My brain's letting it sink in.

"The Blue Lion House is for students from the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus," Hanneman continued for Manuela. "Their house leader this year is Prince Dimitri. He is to be the next king of Faerghus."

I'm still calling him spaghetti hair…but only because it's funnier. I mean, chances are, one of these days, I'll likely call Edelgard by edgelord and by then, I've reached the point of no return. I'll have to think up a nickname for Claude, so that he doesn't feel left out…

"Lastly, there is the Golden Deer House, which is for students of the Leicester Alliance," Manuela finished for Hanneman. "Their house leader is Claude, grandson to Duke Riegan, the leader of the Alliance."

And the guy I'm going after, because at this point, I might as well go with who I'm most comfortable with… Although, that still won't stop me from checking out the other kiddos.

"To think that the next emperor, king, and sovereign duke are all here." Hanneman placed his hand on his chin in thought. "It certainly is a promising year for the academy."

"I'll say." Manuela nodded her head. "I just hope none of those little treasures cause any trouble."

Yeah…trouble… I couldn't help but laugh when my thoughts drifted over to the stress those three had caused me earlier, when they were carrying me.

"Is something the matter?" Manuela asked me.

"It's nothing!" I know I should probably ask her for some help, considering that I passed out earlier, but…I don't feel comfortable without Jeralt around.

"If that's the case, then I suggest taking a stroll around the academy to get your bearings." Hanneman smiled. "And when you've a moment, please stop by my research laboratory!"

"The old man has a point!" Manuela said, to which Hanneman tried to interject, but she cut him off. "Oh, and keep in mind that I've only notified the house leaders that you're our new professor. It's more fun that way."

"I would not be surprised if you were mistaken for a student in the process." Hanneman took a closer look at me, likely taking note of my rather youthful appearance. "You _are_ quite short."

"You're the last person I wanna hear that from…" You're like the tallest person in the room, Hanneman—don't think I haven't noticed.

Hanneman hadn't been expecting such a response from me and almost started wheezing.

_Don't die on us, old man!_

Manuela giggled behind her hand. "I suggest you try spending time with the students. Some odd ducks in that bunch, but they're good kids."

Ignoring the fact that the house leaders are a bunch of brats who fought over me like I was a shiny, new toy…

_Am I salty? Maybe…_

But I also wanted nothing to do with this… However, Manuela wasn't having it and gave me the gentlest of nudges towards the doors, just urging me to go socialize with the rest of the students.

"You're not that much older than them—it'll be fine!" she tried to reassure me. She started adding more force to her nudges until she was outright shoving me out of the audience chamber. I could hear Hanneman just scolding her for her actions, but she was ignoring him as she shut the door behind me.

So here I am, in the hallway…alone.

"Ahahahhaa…" I wanna fucking cry—where's my dad?! I started rubbing my eyes, wiping a way a few tears that managed to slip out. I guess there's no way out of this…

_Might as well look around._

It should be mentioned that besides having a terrible memory, I also, a very bad sense of direction. In my attempts to finds the stairs, I instead, found the library after wandering the hallways for a good ten or so minutes…

It was a frustrating experience, in which I often turned down offers for help from people who were walking past me because of my inability to admit that I needed help. It was like the first day of classes at my university, when I forgot to look for the classrooms ahead of time and was minutes away from being late…

Only this was _far_ worse, because of the massive size of this place. I'm still on the second floor of this building, but everything looks the fucking same. There are no signs whatsoever, just random rooms that one could accidentally enter at any given time.

_Why…_

Feeling especially lost and exasperated, I decided to just stick around the library for a bit. It might be a good chance for me to learn about the world around me anyways…

_Thud!_

Or I would have, had Claude not fucking jumped down from the upper level floor of the library!

"Holy crap!" I screamed, earning an especially loud shush my way from an old man. He was not at all pleased with the loud noise we were making, even though it was entirely Claude's fault.

"My apologies, Tomas!" Claude closed one eye as he gave the old man—Tomas—a quick apology. Tomas only nodded his head and went back to rearranging the books lining the shelves. "So, Noa…ah!"

A small bead of sweat rolled down the side of Claude's face when I suddenly grabbed him by the shirt and harshly tugged him to my level. "Why in the world did you _do_ that?!"

I swear to god, I think my heart stopped beating…

"I was waiting for you to leave the audience chamber," Claude explained nonchalantly, as though he hadn't just scared the crap out of me. "I assumed that you'd visit the library first to learn more about us…am I correct?"

"Uhhh, actually…" I don't know how to say this, buuuutttttt… "I got lost looking for the stairs."

Claude blinked a few times, a smile soon forming on his lips. "Are you serious?"

"Shut up…" I released Claude from my hold and averted my gaze. "Not in the mood."

Claude only snorted and reached out to ruffle my hair. "You're oddly adorable for someone who is going to teach at the Officers Academy."

"Don't patronize me!" I slapped his hand away, still not in the mood to deal with his bullshit.

"Sorry, sorry!" Claude only chuckled, not at all sorry for what he has done.

"Don't make me regret picking your house…" I huffed, very much annoyed with his antics.

Claude blinked again, his smile only widening. "So you've decided?!"

"I guess…?" A small bead of sweat rolled down the side of my face when I realized that maybe I shouldn't have said that. I don't like the look in Claude's eyes… "What are you thinking?"

"Nothing in particular…" That was a god damn lie—I just know it is. And then, without any warning, Claude hooked his hands under my arms and lifted me into the air. "Except maybe this!"

A shriek left my mouth out of shock. "Put me down!"

Claude only ignored my demands to be put down as he threw me over his shoulder and started making his way out of the library. "Bear with me for a bit, there are people that I want you to meet!"

"I can walk, you know!" I pounded my fists on his back, but that did little to discourage him. "Heeeeyyy!"

…

…

…

* * *

A/N SO MY FIRST WEEK OF CLASS HAS GONE BY AND I AM DOING GOOD, besides having to get some paperwork done…but whatever!

Anyways, we've arrived at the monastery, but not without Claude, Dimitri, and Edelgard fighting over SI!Byleth like a shiny new toy! SI!Byleth is tired and wants out, but life isn't gonna let her do what she wants just yet. We're only getting started, after all, and Claude already has his eyes set on SI!Byleth!

It really doesn't help that SI!Byleth had her eyes on Golden Deer before this mess even started, so…here's where Team Fear the Deer kicks in. Once again, don't expect it to go _exactly_ as the Golden Deer route. I still make my own routes, after all!

Also, some of the dialogue said by SI!Byleth in this chapter came from the streams I've done for this game. And yes, I do find Hanneman attractive. I once spent like an hour trying to get a Perfect Tea Time with the fucker because I wanted a close up on his handsome face. He reminds me of Moriarty, who I have thirsted after and went through hell and back to grab him when his banner hit _Fate/Grand Order_. That banner is how I managed to get my third copy of Ozymandias (the fourth who showed up during Chaldea Boys, when I was pulling for Arthur).

Speaking of _FGO_, Nerofest has started and chances are, I'm going to get dragged back into _Bread and Bitter_, so I'm going to do my best to alternate between this fic and that one.

Also my only experience with the _Fire Emblem_ series has been through _Awakening_ and _Fates_, besides _Three Houses_, though I am going to try and change that by playing _Genealogy of the Holy War_ for **Lyrecho**'s birthday stream. I've been interested in it for some time, and I might as well do it since the similarities between it and _Three Houses_.

Anyways, time for some shout-outs!

Reviewer #10: **Karma Aladdin Jehohaz Abraham**

Reviewer #11: Anonymous Reviewer **Geast**

Honorable mentions: **Ardishana**, **Yatocat19**, **TinaNina19**, **UmiNight Angel Neko**, **mothedman**, **Vangran**, **TheAngelicPyro**

Thank y'all for taking the time to review! It really means a lot to me, so just keep them coming guys! I always crave that validation and it really does keep me motivated to keep writing!

That's about it for now, hope you enjoyed this chapter, which was mostly just Claude flirting with SI!Byleth—because yeah, he's actually doing that. He's trying to get her attention after all. *wink wonk*

Until next time, everyone! KD out! XD


	4. Getting To Know You Over Breadsticks

Lorenz Hellman Gloucester has long since come to terms that Claude was not like most nobles. Regretfully, it is something that still plagues his thoughts from time to time. It's hard not to, when the future of the Leicester Alliance is in the hands of Claude von Riegan.

One can never predict what the schemer will do next…

"Hey, check out our new teacher!" Which is why no one was expecting him to hold a child up in the air for everyone in the dining hall to look at. All eyes were away from one's plate and instead, were on Claude and the child he held up.

"_Teacher, huh…?"_ Lorenz tilts his head inquisitively. "Are you certain that isn't the teacher's child?"

Claude has been known for making japes, so it wouldn't be out of the norm for this to be yet another one. And with news of a new teacher being appointed, there is no better time for him to make jokes than now. It's why most people in the dining hall go back to eating their meals instead paying Claude any mind…most people.

Those in Golden Deer know better than to ignore their own house leader, after all. Even Raphael Kirsten, whose eyes are rarely ever wander from the food on his plate, at least gives some attention to Claude.

"Nope!" Claude laughs like a child having too much fun…Lorenz doesn't like it. Neither does Leonie Pinelli, who has only just recovered from an accidental poisoning caused by a misplaced vial. "It's her—she's just small."

"Omigosh, how _cuuuute_~!" Hilda Valentine Goneril falls instantly in love with the teacher's childish looks, her deadpan expression only reminding her of a disgruntled cat. Always one for anything remotely adorable, the new teacher is no exception. "What's your name?"

Noa blinks, beads of sweat soon rolling down the sides of her face. "N…N…"

"This is Noa!" Claude takes over for her, deciding he's pushed her far enough as is. He sits her down in an open space between Leonie and Raphael, patting her on the head as he quickly murmurs an apology to her. He laughs when she swats his hand away, having expected that from her.

"Like the fruit?" Raphael asks as he plops a spoon full of soup into Noa's mouth before she even has a chance to respond. "It's good, right?"

"Raphael, what are you doing?!" Leonie asks, surprised that Raphael would even do that to the person that Claude said was their teacher.

"She looked hungry," Raphael explains with a smile on his face before moving his bowl of soup over to Noa. He offers her a bread roll, his smile only widening when she grabs the roll and takes a huge bite out of it. She is eating with a lot more gusto, no longer so tense as before. "Food always makes everything better."

"Right, right!" Claude nods his head, proudly crossing his arms over his chest.

"Geez, slow down." Leonie uses her napkin to wipe Noa's mouth. "The food ain't going anywhere…"

"Poor thing must've been starving!" Hilda almost coos as she reaches out to pat Noa on the head. "If you're still hungry, Raphael can get you more—right?"

Hilda flashes a charming smile at Raphael, who only nods his head.

"This is our teacher…right?" Lysithea von Ordelia finally speaks after remaining silent for so long.

"Yep!" Claude winks at Lysithea, having noticed that she's been staring so intently at Noa these past few minutes. "Must be nice to have someone close to your size, huh?"

Lysithea's cute face contorts into a scowl as she grabs her bread roll and throws it at Claude. "Shut up!"

Claude only catches the bread roll and hands it over to Raphael, who quickly thanks him. "She might not look it, but she's a mercenary—which could explain her eating habits…"

He'd expect Noa to show some restraint, but now that he actually thinks about it… The life of a mercenary isn't anything like a noble's, so it's likely been a while since she's last had a meal of decent quality. While concerning, it isn't anything that can't be solved with time…

"Mercenary…wait—is she with Captain Jeralt?!" In the meantime, it seems that Leonie has connected the dots. "Is she the one you were telling us about?"

Leonie's face is tinted red with a blush as she turns her attention back on Noa. She tucks a lock of her orange hair behind her ear and clears her throat.

"Hmm?" Noa looks at Leonie, her mouth currently full of soup-soaked bread.

"Are you…Captain Jeralt's child?" Leonie asks her.

Noa blinks and nods her head.

"Ahh, I knew it!" Leonie grins widely. "It makes sense why they'd let someone as young as you teach! My name is Leonie Pinelli, Captain Jeralt's first and greatest apprentice! I'm sure he's told you about me?"

Leonie vaguely recalls comments that Jeralt would make from time to time about his daughter. To think that she'd finally get a chance to meet her…

"I'm sorry…" Noa finally speaks after swallowing the food in her mouth. She looks down at her bowl of soup. "But if he did tell me about you, then I probably don't remember it. I have a really bad memory, so…"

"Oh…I see." Leonie's smile instantly fades.

"But…if I were to ask him about you, I'm sure he'd remember!" Noa quickly adds, before taking another bite out of her bread and continuing to eat.

…

…

"Anyways!" Claude clears his throat, trying his best to salvage the conversation. "Marianne—why don't you say something to our new teacher?"

Marianne von Edmund looks up from her plate, her expression still as tired and somber as usual. She sits at the far end of the table, somewhat isolated from the others, though not entirely. Little by little, Claude hopes to fix the distance between them and Marianne, which is why he's tasked Hilda with ensuring that she at least sits at the same table as them.

"Umm…" Marianne struggles to find anything to say to their new teacher. "H-Hello…"

She stops talking after that, unable to say anything more than that. Claude runs his fingers through his hair and sighs.

"_Baby steps…"_ He can't push her too much. "Since you're here, allow me to introduce you to the rest of the folks from the Golden Deer House!"

It's a lot for anyone to take in all at once, so Claude doesn't expect Noa to memorize all of their names so fast. Not when she has the rest of the Golden Deer House to memorize…

"As soon as you're done eating, I'll take you to Dimitri!" It wouldn't be fair if Claude were to deprive Dimitri of his chance to show Noa around the monastery after she had accepted his offer. "He did offer, after all."

"Hmm…" She doesn't even so much as look at him, clearly still annoyed with his antics. That doesn't last long when a small fawn pops its head from underneath the table, scaring the living daylights out of her. "Ahh!"

Claude catches her as she falls back, quickly asking her if she's okay.

"Wh-What the hell?!" She looks at him, her eyes wide with shock as she points at the fawn sticking its head from underneath the table.

"Oh, yeah, that's Breadsticks." Claude almost forgot to introduce him to Noa. "He's still a baby, so go easy on him."

"Breadsticks?" Noa makes a face.

"It's a placeholder name," Claude explains. "He ate all of Raphael's breadsticks, so he started calling him that and it just caught on. If you got any better names, we're all ears."

"To think that our house mascot has such a ridiculous name." Lorenz shakes his head in disapproval.

"Look, we're never going to have a name better than Penumbra, so why even bother?" Claude says as he helps Noa onto her feet. "Feel free to pet him—he won't bite."

And it is just as Noa is reaching out to pet Breadsticks that the little fawn opens his mouth and screams, catching her completely by surprise.

"Oh yeah, he does that—it's normal." It'll take some time getting used to, but nothing that Golden Deer hasn't adjusted to.

"Claude, quiet your animal!" Which is why Felix Hugo Fraldarius should not be counted, as he is part of the Blue Lions.

"I will as soon as you tell me where Regulus is!" Claude isn't taking any chances with the Blue Lions mascot, no matter how small and cute it currently is.

"He's with the boar." Oh good, that actually helps a lot. "You can find him at training grounds with Dedue."

"Boar?" Noa furrows her brow.

"That's just what Felix calls Dimitri—weird nickname, huh?" Claude thinks that there are better names to give Dimitri. "Anyways, you done eating?"

Noa looks away for a moment, her gaze falling upon Breadsticks, who is now eating her leftovers. "I guess."

"If you're still hungry, we can always come back." Claude places his hand on her shoulder. "Now follow me—unless you want me to carry you again?"

He winks at her, resisting the urge to laugh when she suddenly backs away from him. She holds up her hands in a defensive manner, anticipating his next actions.

"Try to at least show some manners, Claude!" Leonie lightly scolds him. "That's Captain Jeralt's child that you're dealing with!"

"Not to mention, our teacher…" Ignatz quietly adds, hoping that Claude doesn't get them in any trouble.

"It's fine!" Claude waves it all off. "Teach is about our age, so there's no need for any formalities! Now let's go, Teach!"

Without much effort, Claude lifts Noa up by her waist, catching her completely by surprise. He only laughs at the string of incoherent words that leave her mouth as he maneuvers her under his arm.

"You left yourself open, you know," Claude is all too eager to point out. "There's more than one way for a person to pick up someone so small."

Noa says nothing, too stunned to even react.

"Keep an eye on Breadsticks for me!" Claude waves at his housemates using his free hand, soon making his way out of the dining hall with Noa under his arm.

Seconds pass and it's only as Hilda is pulling Breadsticks out from under the table that Leonie finally speaks.

"I seriously hope that this doesn't get us on Captain Jeralt's bad side." Leonie would have done something, had Claude not been so…unpredictable. Really, she has no idea what to expect from him when he's like that.

"This is why he isn't fit to lead the Leicester Alliance." Lorenz doesn't even try to hide his annoyance. "Such improper behavior…"

"I'd be more concerned about getting on the professor's bad side," Lysithea points out with a grin on her face. "We should probably refrain from treating her like a child."

Maybe that'll encourage the rest of her classmates to stop treating her like one as well…

"I have to agree." Ignatz adjusts his glasses. "We haven't known each other for very long, so there should be some level of formality between us."

"Guess that means we can't call her by her name." Hilda pouts childishly as she puts Breadsticks down on the floor. "What a waste…"

"It is a nice name, huh?" Raphael says with a smile on his face. "Noa fruit is pretty tasty, too."

"Think she'll be happy if we get her a bucket of them?!" Hilda quickly perks up.

"I don't think there's any harm in trying." And if Leonie recalls correctly, there should be some Noa fruit in the greenhouse that's ready to be picked. "Not sure if we'll have enough to fill the bucket, though."

Breadsticks chooses that time to shriek, earning yet another complaint from Felix.

"You're so noisy, huh?" Hilda giggles as she pets Breadsticks on the head. "You wanna hang out with Marianne? I know you do, because you like her best!"

Marianne tries to act as if she didn't hear that, but once Hilda pushes the fawn towards her, it's hard for her to pretend. Sighing, she reaches out to stroke Breadsticks's fur after he nudges her side.

* * *

…

…

"I know that it is tradition, but…" Dimitri stares nervously at the lion cub that Dedue Molinaro holds out to him. "This is a dangerous animal, Dedue. Why would the church even allow this every year?"

He can understand Golden Deer having a fawn, and even Black Eagles having an eaglet. But this…is going a bit too far.

"Regulus is still young," Dedue explains. "He can be taught. It will do you good to befriend him, or at the very least, acquaint yourself."

At his current age, Regulus is only the size of a small cat, with white fur and blue eyes. He looks even smaller when held by Dedue, who is far taller than any other student around. He blinks a few times before letting out a cry that sounds more like a squeak.

"He's calling for you," Dedue says, carefully placing Regulus in Dimitri's hands.

"Dedue, please take him back." Dimitri doesn't know what to do with the lion cub in his hands.

The timing couldn't have been any better, because at that very moment, Claude barges into the training grounds, scaring the absolute crap out of Dimitri. Had Dedue not taken Regulus when he had, well…

"_I don't want to think about it…"_ Dimitri pushes every "what if" that floods his head.

Regulus lets out a few angry yowls that quickly catches Claude's attention.

"Hey there little guy!" It's just as Felix said—Regulus is with Dedue and Dimitri. "I hope I didn't scare you."

"Too late," Dedue says, taking note of how tense Regulus is in his hands.

"Whoops…" Claude smiles sheepishly. "Sorry about that…"

"Is that a lion cub?!" Oh, it looks like Noa finally noticed Regulus.

"That is indeed a lion cub." Dedue tries his best to calm Regulus, who is still a bundle of angry fluff. "Are you the mercenary that rescued His Highness?"

"That's her, Dedue," Dimitri quickly confirms.

"I see." Dedue wasn't expecting someone so…small. "Then I must thank you for keeping His Highness safe. Words cannot express my gratitude. Should you ever require my strength, please know that I will hasten to repay this debt."

He bows respectfully, despite the angry lion cub in his hands.

"It's fine—you don't have to do that." A small bead of sweat rolls down the side of Noa's face.

"Why are you carrying her like that?" Dimitri looks questioningly at Claude.

"It's faster this way!" Claude answers with a wide smile on his face. "Also, it brings less attention to us…"

"That didn't stop people from staring at us anyways…" Noa lets out an exasperated sigh as Claude finally puts her down.

"Anyways, you offered to show Teach around the monastery," Claude decides to change the subject. "Which is why I brought her here!"

"Teach…?" Dedue furrows his brow.

"Oh—I forgot to tell you." Dimitri clears his throat. "Noa has been chosen to teach at the Officers Academy."

"I see." Dedue finds his gaze shifting over to Noa. He has questions regarding her new position, but he refrains from saying anything. "Then I wish you luck."

"Thanks!" Noa says with a forced smile on her face. "I'm gonna need it…"

It then occurs to Dedue that Dimitri might not be the only one in need of his assistance…

…

…

* * *

"So…what's up with the lion cub?" Are we going to acknowledge it or what?

"That little guy is the mascot for the Blue Lions," Claude explained as he reached out to pet the lion cub. "Cute, ain't he?"

"Y-Yeah…" I'm not sure how I should feel about this.

"Just keep him away from Breadsticks—little guy keeps trying to attack the poor thing." Claude crossed his arms over his chest.

"I apologize for that." Dedue closed his eyes and bowed his head apologetically. "I looked away for only a moment, and Regulus disappeared from my sight."

"It's fine!" Claude waved his hand. "It's our responsibility anyways to keep an eye on our mascots…speaking of which, you are now obligated to care for Breadsticks."

"Oh, did she pick already?" Dimitri frowned.

"She did." Claude placed his hand on Dimitri's shoulder. "But don't let that get you too down. You still have to show her around the monastery, after all!"

"Right." Dimitri nodded his head. "I'll be taking my leave, Dedue. Feel free to come along if you want."

"I shall stay behind and watch over Regulus." Dedue turns his attention back on the lion cub in his hands. "It seems he still has some energy to expend."

As if on cue, Regulus let out a squeak and started squirming around in Dedue's hands.

"It certainly is nice to have a fawn instead of a lion cub!" Claude has a playful smirk on his face.

"Felix would say otherwise…" Dimitri said, which reminded me of what happened earlier in the dining hall.

"He is kinda loud…" But in a cute way.

"Just keep an eye on your food, and you'll be fine!" Claude patted me on the back. "Now let's get moving!"

"You're coming along?" Dimitri arched his brow.

"Yeah—can't let you have Teach all to yourself!" Claude winked at Dimitri.

"I suppose…" Aww, is spaghetti hair being shy? That's cute.

…

…

"And here are where the classrooms are." Dimitri was doing a pretty good job at showing me around the monastery.

So far, everything's been going well, despite the fact that this place is a massive maze for anyone who doesn't know where to go (basically, me). There are a lot of cats here, and more than once, have I wandered off to go pet one. After the third time, Claude threatened to carry me, which kept me from straying anymore.

"Golden Deer is all the way over here!" Claude directed me to the entrance framed by two golden banners with a symbol of a deer on them.

"Blue Lions is over there," Dimitri said, referring to the classroom right next to Golden Deer's. Similarly, the entrance was framed by banners, but instead of gold, they were blue and had a symbol of a lion on them.

Standing underneath one of the banners was a young man with red-orange hair. He was leaning against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest. He casually waved at Dimitri, stopping only when he noticed something. That's when a smile crossed his expression.

"So this is where you've been, Dimitri!" He made his way over to us, his smile only growing wider. "And with a lovely lady no less? Are you finally taking my advice to heart? I knew you had it in you!"

Dimitri's face turns a brilliant shade of red, which stands out considerably on his pale skin. "_Sylvain_!"

"I'm flattered that you think of me in that way," Claude said as he wrapped his arm around Dimitri's shoulders.

"Though you are quite a looker, I wasn't referring to you." The redhead fixated his gaze on me. "Now who is this lovely lady? I don't think I've ever seen you before…"

"That's our teacher, Sylvain." Claude was no longer smiling, his expression actually looking serious for once.

Sylvain blinked a few times, his smile fading for a moment before immediately returning to his face. "Well, I'm up for some personal study anytime, Teach."

He winked at me in a manner that was deliberately flirtatious, causing my face to heat up with a noticeable blush that even Claude couldn't help but comment on. He reached out to ruffle my hair with his free hand, his eyes looking away to Sylvain as he chuckled to himself.

"I wouldn't put the moves on Captain Jeralt's daughter." Despite his smile, Claude's tone is serious enough as he warns Sylvain.

And yet, that still doesn't stop Sylvain from flirting. "So you're the mercenary that saved Dimitri! How about I show my gratitude with a cup of tea?"

"Th-Th-That's okay!" Fucking Christ—get off my dick, dude! I am not in any state for this crap!

"My name is Sylvain Jose Gautier," Sylvain finally introduces himself, his hand reaching out to take mine.

_Ba-dump!_

I felt like I was going to pass out when Sylvain placed a kiss on the back of my hand, his brown eyes staring intently into mine. It was so hard to breathe…

"Is Sylvain causing trouble again?!" Thankfully, a pale-skinned girl with blonde hair and green eyes came to put an end to Sylvain's flirting. She approached him, grabbing him by the arm as she dragged him away from me. "I am _so_ sorry—I hope he didn't bother you!"

"Relax, Ingrid!" Sylvain laughed. "It's all in good fun!"

_Says you…_

God, I can still feel his lips on my hand…

"I apologize on behalf of my classmate." Dimitri cleared his throat to catch my attention.

"He gets like that around any girl he sees." Claude shakes his head. "Figured it was bound to happen, so you might as well get used to it."

"She doesn't have to!" the blonde-haired girl, Ingrid, exclaimed. "I'll keep an eye on him if you want!"

"Jealous?" Sylvain playfully teased Ingrid.

"Don't make me get Felix!" Ingrid scolded him.

"My, what's going on?" A motherly-looking young lady with long, flaxen hair and blue eyes approached us. The thing I first noticed about her was her dead anime mom hair.

_Oh fuck, I gotta keep an eye on her._

The second thing I noticed was the girl that accompanied her. The girl was about my height, with orange hair in short pigtails. She had blue eyes and skin just as fair as the flaxen-haired lady that she accompanied.

"Oh, Mercie—I think that girl's the mercenary that people have been talking about!" Wow, word sure does get around fast, ahahaha…that fucking sucks. "Are you showing her around, Dimitri?"

"I am indeed." Dimitri nodded his head.

"Or at least he was, until Sylvain, here, distracted them." Ingrid looked sternly at Sylvain, who just smiled.

"Wow, you look so _young_!" The orange-haired girl stood in front of me, her eyes wide in awe. "My name is Annette—what's yours?"

How can someone be so fucking cute?! "Noa."

"Ohh, like the fruit?!" The flaxen-haired lady perked up. "Might I ask if you like sweets?"

"Only if you tell me your name…" God, her hair is really distracting—I've only known her for less than five minutes, but if anything bad were to happen to her, I don't know what I'd with myself.

_I'm not strong enough…_

"My name is Mercedes—I'm Annette's best friend!" she introduced herself with a warm smile on her face. "Are you enrolling in the Officers Academy?"

"Actually…" I laughed nervously.

"That's Golden Deer's new teacher!" Claude did not even hesitate to wrap his arm around my waist and pull me closer to himself and Dimitri. "Sorry, but she's ours."

"Oh…wow." Annete was at a loss for words. "So _you're_ the new professor!"

"Yeah, that's me." For some fucking reason…seriously, they shouldn't have hired me. Everyone is going to regret this.

"Hmm, nearly all of you are here, and I know Felix was in the dining hall…so where's Ashe?" Claude asked as he looked around the yard.

"Oh, one of the cats recently had kittens in the classroom, so Ashe took it upon himself to watch over them until we can safely move them out," Mercedes explained. "If you'd like, I can call him over so we can introduce him to the Professor."

And that's how I got to meet Ashe Ubert. I took one look at his cute, freckled face, with short, gray hair and green eyes, and just straight up adopted him as my child. I don't care if he's taller than me—that's boy is now my son!

_My child now!_

"I'm good at picking locks if you ever need to get past a door!" Ashe told me with a bright smile on his face.

_I __**want**__ that!_

Lockpicking is an especially useful skill to have, especially when you don't have a key to open a door or a chest. I'm…gonna be keeping a close eye on this boy.

_Maybe I can learn from him…_

Eventually, we went our separate ways after Claude asked Dimitri if he was going to continue showing me around the monastery. That was how we ended up in the reception hall, which is where the Black Eagles House was this entire time.

"So _that's_ why the classroom was empty!" Claude smirked at the sight before him, pointing out how everyone was crowding around a table. "Looks like it's Penumbra's feeding time."

Dimitri furrowed his brow. "I don't understand why Edelgard chose this place in particular to feed the eaglet…"

"I think she was waiting for Teach, here, to show her face." Claude rubbed his nose. "Too bad I got to her first!"

"Yeah…" I narrowed my eyes at Claude, still annoyed with what he did to me. I mean, the guy couldn't even use the stairs—he just _had_ to be a show-off.

"It would be in our best interest to introduce the Professor to the others." Dimitri cleared his throat, almost in an attempt to change the subject.

"You're right—Edelgard might get angry again!" Claude laughed as he reached out to pat me on the shoulder. "Get ready for another set of introductions, Teach!"

"Joy…" The faster we get through this, the sooner I can go back to the dining hall for seconds.

…

…

"Oh…it's you again." Edelgard was in the middle of feeding a tiny eaglet strips of raw fish. The baby bird of prey was covered in gray down and making lot of screeching noises each time Edelgard moved her hand away from its beak. It snapped its beak at a blue-haired boy who tried to nudge it with his finger. "Casper—I highly recommend you don't do that."

"You're going to lose a finger if you keep at it." A young man with dark, green hair and blue eyes warned the boy in such a languid manner. He sat next to the boy with blue hair, looking as though he was about ready to fall asleep.

"Anyways, this is the mercenary that I was telling you about," Edelgard said, directing everyone's attention on me

"H-Hello." I looked nervously at the group of people accompanying Edelgard. All eyes were on me, though the one who stood out considerably was a black-haired young man who appeared to have not slept in days. He looked like he was ready to stab me at any given moment.

"I heard much about you from Lady Edelgard." Cool beans—please don't kill me. "My name is Hubert von Vestra—it is a pleasure to meet you."

"L-Likewise…" That's a lie, but I wasn't about ready to say that—not when Edelgard's smiling at me. Geez, she's so pretty…

"The name's Caspar!" The blue-haired boy from earlier butted in, holding out his hand to me from the other side of the table. "Pleased to meet ya!"

I hesitantly took his hand and shook it, somewhat surprised from how strongly he gripped my hand. I squeezed back, earning a chuckle from him.

"Yep!" He grinned. "You're pretty strong, too!"

"Linhardt." The young man with dark, green haired lazily lifted his hand to wave at me. "Goodbye."

…

Wow, not a man of many words, huh?

"Yeesh, Linhardt." Caspar released my hand to give Linhardt a playful shove. "How'd you get into the academy with those manners?"

"Hmm…" Linhardt only hummed, keeping his eyes closed as he started to drift off.

"So…are you a student here?" Caspar turned to me. "Maybe we'll be in the same class!"

Claude snorted at that moment, earning a couple of strange looks from the rest of Edelgard's classmates. "Don't mind me—continue."

"I am Ferdinand von Aegir, legitimate son of the Aegir family, the Empire's foremost house." A young man with brown eyes and light, orange hair bowed respectfully at me as he stood behind Edelgard. "I look forward to getting better acquainted with you."

Ferdinand had a grandiose way of speaking, but…I don't think he meant any harm. He was pretty nice, overall, the way he just smiled at me. I could hear some female students chattering from across the other side of the reception hall, dropping Ferdinand's name here and there as they talked about him.

_Ahh, a pretty boy with a fan club._

I'll be sure to avoid them. Don't need to deal with any shoujo bullshit ruining my life.

_Can that shit even function here?_

I dunno, but I ain't taking any chances.

"I'm Dorothea!" a young woman with long, wavy brown hair introduced herself. She had green eyes and a very pretty face, with pink lips formed into a charming smile. "Before I joined the academy, I was a member of an opera company in the Empire. You should hear me sing sometime."

She winked at me, laughing when my face heated up with a blush.

_Why is everyone so damn pretty?!_

Keep it together—you're a teacher! You gotta act like one…even though you're more suited to be a student than a teacher…

_Focus!_

"And this, right here, is Bernadetta!" Dorothea reached down to pull up a messy-haired girl who had been hiding underneath the table.

"Ahhh!" she shrieked, struggling against Dorothea, who released her arm. She hid behind her, earning a couple of laughs from the young woman.

"Bernadetta has never been one for social interactions," she explained, reaching behind her to gently stroke Bernadetta's messy, purple hair. "She's usually holed up in her room—but not today."

_Oh goody—I'm not the only one with anxiety!_

I feel like we're gonna get along just swimmingly…assuming that Bernadetta actually gives me a chance. Based on the way she just refuses to even look at me…chances are pretty slim.

"I am called Petra!" a maroon-haired young woman with tanned skin and brown eyes spoke up. "I am pleased to be meeting with…no, I am pleased to have met you."

She had an awkward way of speaking, but more so in a sense that this language we were speaking wasn't her first. It was very cute.

"You speak really well!" I told her with a smile on my face.

Petra's face lit up with a smile. "Thank you!"

"And I believe that's everyone in the Black Eagles!" Claude crossed his arms over his chest. "Save for Penumbra, who…is still being a cheeky little brat."

"Penumbra is still a baby." Edelgard scowled at Claude. "Leave the poor thing alone."

"It's so ugly, though!" Claude teased Edelgard. "Looks more gray than black."

"Regulus is white…" Dimitri brought up.

"But his eyes are blue!" Claude quickly turned to face Dimitri, reaching out to prod his nose with his finger. "Isn't that right?"

Dimitri blinked. "You are correct."

"Are you fighting over mascots?" I swear to god, you guys better not do that in front of me. Don't make me give you guys detention!

_I can do that now!_

"It would be wise not to badmouth Lady Edelgard's eaglet," Hubert spoke up, his expression especially cold. "It is, after all, still young."

"But that doesn't mean it isn't a brat!" Caspar remarked as he reached out to touch the eaglet, quickly pulling his finger away when it snapped its beak at him. "See?"

"I think it's cute." I know I'm biased, because I have a love for birds, but I genuinely think that Penumbra is cute.

Edelgard's expression softened. "Would you like to feed Penumbra?"

And that is how I spent the next fifteen minutes feeding an eaglet the flesh of a dead fish. Not exactly something I'd ever imagined myself doing, but it's not anything that I'll complain about…except maybe the smell, but whatever.

_I can always wash my hands._

"I think you'd do well with us." Edelgard looked at me with a smile on her face.

"Umm…" Okay, this is a bit awkward… "Ow!"

_That little thing __**bit**__ me!_

I know that's a risk that comes with dealing with birds of prey, but when I saw Penumbra snuggling against Edelgard's hand, I just felt annoyed. Like, damn…already showing favoritism.

"Now I don't mean to be the bearer of bad news, but…" Claude, you cheeky little shit—don't use me as an armrest! "Teach already made her pick."

"What?" Edelgard's eyes widened in shock.

"I apologize, but…it's just as he said." Dimitri's gaze went downwards. "The Professor has made her decision."

"And she picked us!" Claude stepped away from me, effortlessly dodging me when I swiped at him. He winked playfully at Edelgard, who was too stunned to say anything. "Sorry!"

"I don't mean to be rude, but did you just refer to her as a professor?" Linhardt looked questioningly at us, surprisingly alert for once.

"Uhhhh…" Crap—they're looking at me again… "Surprise?"

That earned me a lot of questions, most of them involving how old I was because I did _not_ look like I should be a teacher.

_Damn, just going straight for the kill…_

And honestly? I wish I knew how old I was, because I don't know. I really don't—it is a mystery…

"From what Captain Jeralt had said, she's not that much older than us," Dimitri answered, taking some of the attention off of me.

"No way she's seventeen!" Caspar blurted out.

"Believe it or not—it's up to you!" Claude grinned. "Regardless, that doesn't change the fact that she picked our house."

"Right." Dimitri sighed.

"You're always welcomed in my class." I don't know why I said that, but a part of me feels like I should've just kept my mouth shut.

"Is that so?" Dorothea perked up at that comment, a delighted smile crossing her face. "Then, I'll be sure to drop by if I ever need any help!"

_What am I doing?_

Someone get me out of here, I'm only digging my grave…

"Umm…" Oh, is Bernadetta trying to say something? "Can I leave now?"

"Of course you can, Bern!" Dorothea patted Bernadetta's head. "You did a great job!"

"Thank you!" Bernadetta breathed out in relief, soon fleeing from the scene.

…

…

"I didn't think you to have such a soft heart!" Edelgard finally spoke, her lips formed into a small smile.

"No need to be a sore loser!" Claude easily shrugged off her comment. "She picked us fair and square."

"I suppose even the strongest would have trouble saying no to someone as incessant as you," Edelgard remarked.

Claude ceased smiling. "Just what are you implying?"

Edelgard's smile only widened. "Surely, you're smart enough to figure that out?"

She didn't say much after that, instead picking up Penumbra and then taking her leave. Hubert followed after her, leaving the rest of her classmates behind with us.

…

"I think we should leave," Dimitri was quick to suggest.

"Please…let's." Wow, that was super awkward. "C'mon Claude—let's leave."

"R-Right!" Claude forced a laugh as I grabbed him by the arm and started dragging him. "I suppose we have stuck around long enough…"

_Long enough for Edelgard to get huffy at Claude._

"I'll…be seeing you around," I told the rest of Edelgard's classmates.

"Do have a good day, Professor!" Ferdinand was quick to say, his smile never once wavering, despite what had just happened.

You know, if I wasn't so hung up about shoujo bullshit, then I'd actually find him cute… I mean, he still is, but that's just a thought I'm going push out of my head.

_Begone, thought!_

The rest of the tour went well, without any more issues (thankfully). Dimitri showed me where the dorms were, which is where Claude showed me where his room was.

"You should really put away all those books on your bed," Dimitri told Claude after getting a good look at his room.

"Yeah, it's a nasty habit I've picked up." Claude laughed. "I'll try to keep that in mind…his room's over there, if you're curious."

"I'm not!" Geez, Claude! "Am I even allowed here?!"

_Is the second-floor males only?!_

"Sure you are—Hilda's room is also here!" Claude placed his hand on my shoulder. "No need to worry!"

"You're making me worry." I don't know what to expect from you.

"Is everything okay?!" Hilda called from across the hall—when did she get here?! "I just came here to get something I forgot."

"It's fine, Hilda—we're just showing her around!" Claude responded back. "You can go back to what you were doing!"

"Okaaaay!" Hilda didn't say anymore after that, quickly going into her room to find what it was that she left behind.

"Anyways, that's where her room is," Claude added afterwards.

"I see." Huh…

"Let's move onto the next area," Dimitri said as he started making his way over to the stairs. "Watch your step."

…

We briefly paid the greenhouse a visit after we left the dorms, as it was closest. Right near the greenhouse, was a fishing pond that immediately caught my attention.

"There's fish?!" I ran across the dock, peering over the edge to see a bunch of fish swimming around in the water. "Ahhhh!"

"You can fish any time you want—so long as you have bait, of course," Claude explained. "If you want, I can catch you a fish and help you cook it."

"Maybe later." Right now, you guys are showing me around the place.

"I might have some spare gold to buy bait at the marketplace," Dimitri offered. "Speaking of which, why don't we head there?"

"The stables are near it, which is likely where your father's horse is being kept!" That's a good point, Claude—wait, maybe Dad is there!

"Let's go!" I practically yelled.

…

…

Unfortunately, Jeralt is not there…but his horse is, so that's something. I mean, Marianne is also here, as is Breadsticks—why is he here?

"Breadsticks likes Marianne best," Claude explained. "He's always quiet around her."

At least, he was, until he started shrieking again. Damn, that little guy is _loud_.

"Never mind—that was a lie!" he laughed. "I am so sorry for that."

"You shouldn't have to apologize." Dimitri frowned. "You didn't do anything wrong…"

"E-Everything is fine, it's just…time to feed him…" Marianne said in a barely audible voice, still looking as timid as ever. "D-Don't mind him."

"I swear, he takes after Raphael…" Claude ran his fingers through his hair. "Always hungry, that little guy…"

_Growl._

"Shut up!" I snapped at him before he had a chance to say anything.

"Yeah, you're going to fit in nicely with us!" Claude laughed as he patted me on the head. "I'll definitely catch that fish for you—and you're gonna help me, Dimitri!"

"Why me?" Dimitri looked questioningly at Claude.

"Because I'm inviting you to eat with us!" Claude winked playfully at Dimitri.

"Oh…then I guess that's fine." Dimitri didn't know how else to react, likely because of how unpredictable Claude could be.

Unfortunately, we were unable to buy any bait at the marketplace. The vendor had sold the last of his bait the other day and won't be able to restock until the start of the upcoming month.

"Should've figured." Claude sighed. "The later into the month it is, the less likely you'll be able to buy stuff. Let that be a lesson to you, Teach."

"Oh, _haha_…" You're _**so**_ funny… I shoved Claude, knowing fully well that it wouldn't do anything to him. His sense of balance is better than mine…

_Is Dimitri laughing?_

At least someone's having fun…

…

…

…

* * *

A/N Oh hai, hope you don't mind the mascot animals thrown here, because **ChibiFoxAI** enabled me, and then so did **Lyrecho** and **TheOnlyN**, as per usual. Speaking of them, many thanks for the fact that they helped me with some of the dialogue in this chapter! Couldn't have done it without them!

Anyways, this chapter can be summed up as Claude being a little shit and Dimitri gets dragged along for the ride. SI!Byleth is there for it all, and if you look closely, you can see me writing out interactions I've always wanted, but never got while playing the game. Seriously, I am _appalled_ that Claude and Sylvain don't have any supports—same goes for Claude and Dimitri. These guys would get along…just saying.

Also, to everyone asking…yes, SI!Byleth would get along super well with Bernadetta. The problem, however, is getting that chance to interact with her in the first place, because she's always holed up in her room, but don't worry—I can think of something.

Also, I'm aware that, in the game, when you get to go around the monastery, it's already the next day, but it's my city now and I make my own routes, so…hope you guys are enjoying the ride!

Anyways, time for some shout-outs!

Reviewer #20: **Irene the Queen of Dragons**

Reviewer #22: **Yatocat19**

Honorable mentions: **UmiNight Angel Neko** (Jeralt is indeed enjoying Byleth's open affection), **TinaNina19 **(thanks for the recs!), **Ardishana **(calling me out on my thirst, you're so fucking right! XD), **hybrid-interpreter**, **Unbenannt**, **Facelessmist64 **(good luck starting your Three Houses fic!)

Thank y'all for indulging in my need for validation! I really appreciate it, so just keep it up! And if you ever want, you can always send me an ask on my tumblr, **klonoadreams**, because I've been getting a lot of asks for this fic and it has been keeping me engaged!

That's about it for now, so I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Until next time, everyone! KD out! XD


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